SFGate

Design Organize The angle of your photograph is good in that it shows the immense expanse of wood ceiling. If you paint your cupboards white your ceiling is going to become even heavier and stronger than it already is.
You need to counteract/balance out that enormous wood ceiling with something with punch down below. Thank goodness your flooring is a deep shade/tone that helps balance the ceiling
Here are several suggestions:
1. Take the accessories off the tops of your cabinets. They keep drawing your eye up and accentuating the enormous wood ceiling.
2. Paint your lower cupboards a stronger color (charcoal or almost black) and paint the top cupboards a lighter grey. This will go with the stainless as well as the flooring and keep the eye and the emphasis pulled down.
3. Again to pull the eye down and relieve the darker cabinets, try using quartz counter tops...white.
4. Tone down the accessories and applliances on the counter top. Keep it sleek. Pick just two chairs at your bar. instead of the mixture of chairs.
5. Pearly gray (dove gray) walls would be stuning, but if you want drama, pick a medium tangerine color for contrast to all the black, gray and white. It will POP!
6. Update your lighting fixtures to a simpler, more sleek look.
7. Keep the island but make it sparkle with a white quartz counter top and just pick two chairs...you have too many and the styles are mixed.
The finished look will be updated, sleek, contemporary and clean. The ceiling will stop overpowering the room and subtly complement it instead.
Best to you!
DesignOrganize.com

jccbaker My suggestion is that you get new countertops (silestone has a lot of nice colors and patterns, reasonably priced). After you've lived with them for a few weeks, then you'll know whether or not you want to start painting cabinets. (You may not.)

cyn222 Cabinet...open shelving and glass front on some to get rid of all the wood everywhere.
Maybe even consider a different stain finish on the base cabinets.
Countertops...definitely something that mimics granite in a lighter grey tone.
Lights...pendant type more simple and modern
Wall Color...light grey
Remove some of the items above the cabinets. If you need something because you think it's bare do a small grouping on one side and a plant just for alittle interest, but I personally would leave it empty. Dust collector area to me.

Design Organize Cyn222 is right,. Whether you paint the cabinets or not, relieve all that wood with some glass fronts. Pretty easy to just pop that recessed panel out of those cabinet fronts.
Best to you! DesignOrganize.com