Help! In crisis mode!
We started remodeling our home when we brought my invalid mother-in-law to live with us. A few months after bringing her in my husband lost his job which put the remodeling on hold and leaving us without health insurance. I went to work for a time but still no health insurance. My husband got a contracting job but still no health insurance. Soon after I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to deal with that for a few years. Again remodeling was not our main concern at this point. After a few years my husband finally got a job and now the kids are in college which means remodeling is still on hold. In the meantime, the house has been getting worse and worse. Our remodeling consisted of tearing out the yucky carpet (now we are living on concrete) and removing the old cabinetry in the kitchen (we have a used commercial sink and counter top). Can't get a home improvement loan since housing prices have gone way down and they would need to do an inspection in order for us to get that loan meaning we wouldn't get the amount needed to finish our remodel anyway. I have access to about 11,000 dollars in a Roth IRA and wonder if there's a way to get the things done on that kind of a budget. I physically can't do the work and have a part-time job but that pays for the kids schooling. My husband has a full-time job now which has health insurance (thankfully) but doesn't have the time to do the work and really isn't able to. We're both in our 50s and not in the best of shape health-wise. My brain is not totally the same since going through cancer either. I am an organizing freak but the house has become so out of control and I don't have skills with designing a kitchen or room.
Thanks for listening to my story and I would love to hear any comments on how I could get a new kitchen, painting done, flooring, and fix my pool on an $11,000 budget.
Thanks for listening to my story and I would love to hear any comments on how I could get a new kitchen, painting done, flooring, and fix my pool on an $11,000 budget.
| Share: |
|
More Discussions
Thanks again!
My first suggestion is to really look at your options with the Roth IRA b/f you take any $ out. For example, can you use the Roth money for your kids' college fund w/out penalty and use your salary for the remodel? If you are just taking the $ out, you're going to end up w/a huge bill from the IRS next year. I'd talk to a rep of the company where your Roth IRA is located to learn more.
My other thoughts are:
1. Look into sources that can help you pay for college - grants, loans, etc.
2. Prioritize what needs to be done - fix those things that represent a health or safety hazard first.
3. Look for resources in your state and local community (including non-profits and churches) that can help you pay for or fix those health/safety hazard items.
4. Make a plan to fix the health/safety hazard items during your kids' break from college - figure out what needs to be done, find instructions online for how to do it & tell them to bring their friends to work. You can throw them a (cheap) party after. (If you need professionals - electrician, carpenter etc - start talking to people w/in your network of friends now to get recommendations. If you have more of an idea of what exactly needs to be done, you'll have more luck finding someone who can help you for less).
5. Next up is all the cosmetic fixes you need. First, get rid of anything that is non-essential, items that only clutter up the place. Then make a list of everything you want done, see what you can do as cheaply as possible and plan those for summer break. Again, talk to your friends, see what they have in their house that they don't want anymore. Everyone has left-over paint that they are never going to use. Don't worry about imposing or bothering - true friends will be happy to help. Also -- talk to local contractors - they might have leftover or returned materials that they can give to you or sell to you for cheap.
(Don't let your kids balk about helping - you will be doing them a favor by being stern. If they don't help, they'll regret it when they are old enough to realize they should have helped & if they do help, they'll feel great about it)
6. I'd wait on the pool until you are in a better financial position. A pool is not only expensive to fix, it is expensive to run & maintain.
Hope that is helpful. Again, very sorry.
Lyvonne
www.essentialsinside.com
Don't use your last pennies to fix the home without a clear plan as to all the consequences.
I don't know what climate you are in, but you can stain or paint the concrete to give yourself a clean floor. Staining might be more expensive. Concrete floors are in though, so don't look at that as something awful. If you are in a warm climate, concrete is a wonderful, durable surface which can be softened with area rugs.
Your floors and kitchen seem a priority with four kids and a lot to do.
You have been through a lot; don't underestimate its psychological and physical toll on you. Take a deep breath and remember that you came thorough a lot and that the surface of things can always be fixed. Your health and your loved ones come first.
I understand how you feel because I, too am sick and took care of my mother for six years till she passed 8 months ago. Coming back is a slow process.
Be gentle on yourself. Do you have a table to work on in the kitchen? When I look at European kitchens, I marvel at how they do so much with so little.
Can you get someone to help you look at your space with fresh eyes? Can you post pictures here? Don't listen to people who want you to spend a bunch. With a few pictures, we might be able to collectively give you a bunch of dirt cheap ideas.
Houzzers seem to be very generous. But mostly, take a deep breath and remember all this is surface.
Option 1 has been covered by other posters with excellent ideas. The Esssentials Inside presented a great plan. Carpet is usually the cheapest flooring option, especially if you still have the carpet tack strips installed. College kids can do real work during vacations and summer breaks, and they will learn valuable skills, too. Painting is a good skill to learn. So is budgeting for a family.
Option 2, I suggest you look on the internet at photos of houses that are for sale in your neighborhood, the ones that would be competing with your house to be sold. A good rule of thumb for gutting and remodelling a mid-range house's kitchen is 15-20% of the price of the house. Then you can ask yourself if it is wise for you to spend that kind of money if you have to gut your IRA and possibly borrow additional money. http://www.zillow.com may be helpful in getting information about current sales.
Option 3, you can ask three real estate agents to come for a walk through and tell you what they think your house would sell for as a fixer upper, and what, if anything, would be a good idea to do before putting the house up for sale. Be up front about your timeframe for selling and why you asking for their comments now. In my experience, most agents will put in a couple of hours work now in order to get possibly hired to sell the house in a year or two. You are not asking for a full package with comps, photos, marketing plan and all that, just a walk through and a chat.
Last, let me recommend Flylady as a system for getting a house under control again. http://www.flylady.net is her website. It's free, start at http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/
I will try to post some pictures this week.
This is not the forum, but having some personal knowledge of early onset BC, I have to ask whether you've been tested for BRCA1 and 2? If the question doesn't make sense to you, I'll refer you to
http://www.facingourrisk.org/messageboard/viewforum.php?f=3&sid=c0ecff80b60e200653fe74e1e9bd6e2b
for tons of information and support.
It sounds as though you're looking to stage rather than make this your dream home at this point. Being a neatnic means you're part of the way there already. If your kitchen is gutted, but still has walls, at least a can of paint can help a buyer to see it as a space with possibilities. Beyond that, if there's an IKEA or ReStore near you, you might find some good looking budget solutions. ReStore is an outlet for overruns and donations to Habitat for Humanity. Ask your network of friends for a referral to a competent and reasonable handyman for installations. I actually have one on the job at present who is fixing the mess left behind by a licensed contractor at half the price. And lucky that stainless is in, as that's what I'm picturing as your current setup. Good luck with everything, and I hope you can keep us posted.
I know what the BRCA1 and 2 are. I don't remember if I was ever tested. I was tested for some other HER2nu [sp?] I think. I was negative. I had a friend who had BC in her family, was tested and found to have the BRCA. With no onset of BC she went and had a double mastectomy. Ouch! Don't know I'd do the same if in the same situation.
Anyway. You're right. This is not the forum.
Absolutely! I do NOT want this for my dream home. I want to live in the country. Have wanted to live in the country for a while. Have about 2 acres of land and a small ranch home. I say small because ever since we've been married we've gone up in size. I feel that has contributed to some of the problems we have had in recent years. Now that the kids are getting to the age of moving out, we can think about downsizing but not without fixing up the home to get in condition to sell.
There's an IKEA here. I absolutely love going there and getting ideas. There is also a ReStore. In fact I have been volunteer interpreting for Habitat for the last few months. I visited the ReStore once and was amazed at the stuff I could get. I am planning on going back soon.
Again, I will post pictures hopefully today!
I've also gone back to the FlyLady website and am trying very hard to implement her way of doing things. Although I'm in a hurry to get the storage locket contents out of my bedroom where they landed when we had to empty that.
I've still not posted pictures because I'm just not ready for "decorating." I've got to see what the real estate agent says.
Thanks again for all your ideas. I am slowly working on them.
My opinion on your situation is not to use any of your personal income or savings on remodeling your home. Basically with the uncertainty of the outcome with your marriage you should spend your money as if it were your last dollar. I pray your husband will help you stay current with all joint accounts and expenses for the kids. If he doesn’t you may have to hire an attorney and pay court expenses. Also if the house is in both your names you will need his signature to sell the house or even to refinance. Also if your marriage does end he could be entitled to half of your Roth IRA. Additionally you should stop paying for any new college expenses of your kids, including co-signing any collage loans. I’m sure that will not be an easy choice but given your working only part-time you need to save every penny and enough to last you at least 6 months, preferably a year, in case you or husband lose your job or another medical situation arises with you or your husband. While saving any money if you can safely, securely and secretly save as much cash at home that you don’t have to account for or split with your husband. Maybe you can find another part-time job or full-time with benefits. If you can having disability insurance, preferably label as for your current job title and not labeled as any and/or all jobs, for both of you will help if either of you become disabled. It can take up to a little more than 2 years to be approved for disability through Social Security, unless you have an illness that is on SS’s list to be immediately approved. Hopefully you have worked enough and made an income that qualifies you for SS benefits that will sustain you if you become disabled or when you retire. Another thing if you and/or husband have to declare bankruptcy, at some point, hopefully you will not have any liens or a second mortgage on your home. If you do have either you may not be able keep your home and it could be sold through bankruptcy court.
I wish you the best and hope your future gets better. I have spoken of some things you and others have not said anything about. I only did so to help you think of what might happen and what you can do to prepare for the best outcome. Hopefully your marriage and family will see better days but if not do your best to be civil and stay out of the courts. I’m also listing some links that may help you and your family.
http://www.makinghomeaffordable.gov/programs/view-all-programs/Pages/default.aspx
http://www.zillow.com
http://www.giveforward.com/help-your-neighbor/
www.helpguide.org/toolkit/emotional_health.htm
http://lifehacker.com/
www.howtolearn.com
www.mamapedia.com
http://www.smartmoney.com/
http://apps.finra.org/meters/1/riskmeter.aspx
http://apps.finra.org/meters/1/scammeter.aspx
http://www.smart401k.com/Content/Retail/Home.aspx
http://www.investopedia.com
www.themint.org
www.mymoney.gov
www.richkidsmartkid.com
www.usmint.gov/kids/
Thank you so much for your perspective on things. Sometimes you just get into the heat of things and want to make all kinds of decisions that you shouldn't.
I will definitely check out the links you posted.
Things are looking up in my marriage but you just never know how things will turn out.
Thank you again for the many websites that you provided for me to look at. I have not looked at them all but one thing that we are doing is refinancing our home under HARP. We are not getting any cash from the loan. Just a refi so that we are paying a fixed rate vs. an adjustable. Also, after it closes I am going to escrow in the property tax and house insurance. That way I don't have to worry about those two big payments at the beginning of the year.
I have full hope that our marriage will be reconciled. My husband is working on his stuff and I am working on mine as well. I know that it will be an uphill battle to get to a point of success again.
@ apple_pie ~ I am really trying to implement FlyLady now more than ever. It's hit and miss every day since the overwhelming mess is still causing me grief. My husband and I have both been to a wonderful counselor who is very straightforward and has told me that I am going through post traumatic stress. Go figure! I tend to diminish the psychological and physical harm that is done because of past trauma. So now I am trying to give myself a break and do what I can when I can.
That's why I love FlyLady. You can do anything in 15 minutes. There's much to be done. If I focus on how much, I get brought down low. If I focus on doing something for 15 minutes I can see things starting to happen.
After coming back to this forum today and after reading, again, the past posts from y'all, I feel like I've been encouraged for today. I have a "to-do" list that I have been trying to keep up with daily. Little things that will bring me a feeling of success. I will get straight to it today!
Thank you all again.
The cabinets we bought at a garage sale and work for now and I've had a friend that has commented on the fact that they look nice.
The wall behind the stove needs something. But I'm not sure that's where the stove should stay. It sits across from the dinette area. Not the normal place for a stove.
I hate where the pot rack is. I hate the commercial counter and sink but that's all I have right now. Makes it easy to clean UNDER it though.
I really like a lot of drawers. I am going to go to the Habitat for Humanity Restore possibly today and check out what they have.
What is the gray wall covering? Is there flooring in the kitchen at the moment? You have a nice big kitchen window and beautiful dinette area windows. I'm impressed that you are keeping the cabinets so neatly organized considering the kitchen is under construction. Drywall dust just goes everywhere.
You're right about how big the sink is too. :-)
The gray wall covering is stainless steel sheets bought at an auction for a restaurant that was going out of business. Another part of wanting a commercial kitchen.
Thanks about the organization. As I said, I am a person who likes to be organized but with all the chaos I can only do so much.
We are not actively working on the kitchen right now. So, no drywall dust.
I also love the bay window in the dinette.
After reading your latest posts and seeing your pictures I understand and am impressed with your commitment to proceed in a course that will succeed. Keep your focus on doing small lists daily and in time things will get better and less stressful. I would love to have those type cabinets in a workshop or even a room for hobbies. If you have some scrap fabric you might could sew some curtains to hang under sink to soften the look and hide that space. I could see using the stainless steel on wall where stove will be and using the rest to build a hood over stove. You may consider using Google Sketchup to plan your kitchen and other items. To help save for projects consider taking pictures of things you don’t need and posting on free websites. But be careful of scammers and thieves by getting their name, address and phone number before meeting them. You can also google their info to double check.
It may be easier to include the escrow amounts into your payment before closing your refinancing. I would be against a short sale myself, for many reasons. It would be a last resort and even then I may not. If lender does not forgive the balance due you will owe that until paid. If they do you may have to pay taxes on amount forgiven. Overall it depends on how much is owed, current value or sale price, other debts and if you have income that allows you to save for future. If your more than $50,000 underwater on mortgage, hard to save for future, with debt and all the stress it may be better to declare bankruptcy than do a short sale. Especially if you are stressed which and is not good for your health. Remember it is easy for a broker to recommend a short sale because they will get commission and they are not in your shoes and may not have your best interest in mind when considering theirs. You need to talk to someone at makinghomeaffordable program. Harp is just one of the programs and may not be the best. If you go to the website link in other post you can just about figure out which is best.
I reposted some links that didn’t work and posted some new ones. Good luck and best wishes.
New
http://cfed.org/programs/idas/
http://www.cancer.org/treatment/treatmentsandsideeffects/physicalsideeffects/chemotherapyeffects/chemo-brain
http://www.ssa.gov/pgm/disability.htm
http://www.ssa.gov/work/#sb=2
http://www.bankrate.com/
http://www.bankrate.com/calculators/mortgages/mortgage-point-adviser.aspx
http://www.khanacademy.org/
http://smallbusiness.yahoo.com/advisor/
http://workshops.homedepot.com/workshops/
http://community.homedepot.com/
http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/index.shtml
http://www.everydayhealth.com/
http://www.drphil.com/
http://69.0.254.19/wwMS/english/InfoBooth/index.htm
http://www.usa.gov/Citizen/Topics/Family-Community.shtml
http://www.sketchup.com/intl/en/
Reposted
http://www.helpguide.org/toolkit/emotional_health.htm
http://www.howtolearn.com/
http://www.mamapedia.com/
http://www.themint.org/
http://www.mymoney.gov/
http://www.richkidsmartkid.com/
http://www.usmint.gov/kids/