SFGate

groveraxle So for 17 years you've been sitting with the counter either at your chin or your belly? Get him out of the house for a day and cart ten of those things to Goodwill. When he complains, show him that you saved one just for him. (You might have to have a memory lapse to keep him from going to Goodwill to buy them back.)

mdasay Tell your hubby to suck it up and do it because it makes YOU happy!

Linda Are you looking for paint colors for his barstool or granite suggestions for the piece you would like to drop on his head? Husbands are known for being even more difficult to remodel than houses...

Hope you aren't offended by the humor because sometimes it's better to laugh than cry. As my one friend says, "Men! You can't live with them and you can't shoot them either"

Barnhart Gallery Replace them for his birthday. Surprise! :)

Jennifer Hogan I have one of these too. Whenever I want to get rid of something that is not solely mine I place it in the garage with a date on it. If my husband doesn't miss it, ask for it or retrieve it in a timely fashion it goes. This allows him the opportunity to keep what is really important to him, but most of the time it is not important enough for him to bother retrieving from the garage.

It is a pain, but I get my way in the end without causing a fight.

Susanna Use the fire pit.

onthefence Susanna - use the pit for the husband? Seems a little severe ;-)

solarsam Thanks SO much, loved the laughs and you all make sense! We've been together 34 yrs and it doesn't get easier on this stuff. argh. YES to groveraxle - we're either at our chin or our belly. 17 yrs. Linda - so agree..decorators have fired him. If I get rid of things I AM afraid we'll wind up on a chandelier, however, your comments have given me the guts. Habitat for Humanity just opened up here....

solarsam onthefence - yes, I have considered the fire pit }:-]

Susanna Ha! No! I meant the bar stools...like "oh no, honey, we had a small fire while you were gone. Luckily nothing burned but the bar stools" :-)

Susanna On a serious note...some people can't visualize. You have talked to him about it and that has not worked for 17 years so time to take another approach.

Most men I know are all about comfort over style. So win the "contest" by buying something much more comfortable. He said he would keep the old ones in addition but that idea will be gone with the wind once he sits in the much more comfortable ones. I think he will abandon the old ones like a sinking ship and removing them at that point will not be such a fight. He might even help you if you can get him out of the new chairs. :-)

If I'm wrong and he stubbornly clings to the old chair you still have half a victory...you have solved the problem for your self.

Good luck! I'm rooting for you!

solarsam Thanks Susanna - great advice! I'm ordering the new ones as we speak!!

Susanna So glad to hear it! Just remember not to say, "see! I was right all these years". That never goes well. :-)
If for some bizarre reason he wants you to take them back, keep one for yourself. You should not have to "suffer" through any more years of barstool abuse :-) ha! Bless your heart. I can't wait to hear how this turns out.

solarsam lolol - barstool abuse! That's good, but I tell ya - it's been affecting our marriage! I will take before and after photos and post them. And, for sure, will NOT say, see I told you so. rofl

maureenroth I've been sharing these hilarious posts with my husband today, as well as the long post from the woman with the ugly knotty pine kitchen which her husband wants to keep. I've been laughing until the tears were flowing. It took me 8 years to convince my husband to let me paint our hallway and staircase paneling in our 1927 house. I did it by watching a White House special 4 years ago and pointing out that their woodwork was painted and it was mahogany, and looked great, so our humble oak and gumwood weren't sacred.Now he likes it, but it takes soooo long to convince them that we're right!

bhelmore Don't worry, when it all looks new and gorgeous, and the first compliment comes in - he'll claim it was HIS idea all along! ;-)

Susanna Worse yet, he'll ask you why it took you so long. :-)

Susanna I have to say though, that living with men has eliminated my fear of alien visitation. We women can adapt to anything...apparently for 17 years!

judyg Cute, fun thread. Nice job all around.

nikitasmom I have to agree this is a fun thread and it is nice to know I am not alone. 21 years for us. I have one closet full of his comic books and another 1/2 filled with his guitars and amp. Yet trying to get new bar stools took 6 years. Even then the seats had to be modified after I realized I like to sit sit on one foot while on the computer.

solarsam lol - thank goodness I'm not alone! Thanks for sharing your stories. Once I post the before and after you'll really wonder why I hung onto THIS look for 17 yrs. You gotta wonder about ME!

solarsam nikitasmom - I'm curious how your modified the seats. I also like so sit that way.

Interiors International, Inc. Happy wife = happy life!

Susanna Too True Interiors. I'll bet you have seen it all in the interior design spouse wars.

nikitasmom Removed the small round cushion. Cut plywood which was a bit tricky to get to fit the curve. added foam and fabric. We have kept the original tops as seen in the images for when we put the house on the market.

solarsam oh yes, Interiors - that is very true. And, really, I don't ask for much.... Well, 5 backless stools bought so far (2 more to go); still have to replace the 4 Main ones, with backs. I'll do those just after he comes out of surgery next week. oh my, the planning we are capable of.. Thankfully, I found this board!

solarsam Thanks, Nikitasmom - that looks like it would fit 2 feet under the bum :)

solarsam feet - as in appendages.

Susanna Don't worry solarsam. We are not wondering about you. I think most of us have been through this to some degree. I've only had one decor argument so far. It was a closet rebuild that started with "how many black high-heeled shoes does one woman need?!" and ended with me in the garage counting his screwdrivers. I guess some things in life are universal so...no judgement here, honey!

solarsam ROFL Susanna - that is one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time! Why is it the smallest of decorating projects can get so blown out of proportion! The stools I bought were on such a small scale financially that it doesn't even factor into the argument. As somebody pointed out, I think I've been too nice to my husband! lol (well, we'll see what happens when they arrive...)

groveraxle This has been a great thread, so much fun. Solarsam, I'm glad you have a sense of humor, and really glad you ordered the stools.

Jill Crowe We are both married to the same man!! There is no easy answer. Our marriage counselor taught us how to negotiate to make it a win-win. See the marriage counselor, a good one with a proven track record, and your decorating dilemma will fade into a distant memory.

bygeorgi I told my now X when he moved in with me he would have no say in the decor of any where we lived, and he agreed.....next time it will be in the pre nup .While he is not at home, I would give them away free on craigslist and then have a fight about, make -up sex.... then you won't need to worry bout it anymore.... lol.

curacaoblue I find it hard to believe that after 34 years you haven't figured out how to handle this. Or is "the" thing for you two? You know how every couple has that one issue that they can't ever seem to get past no matter how long they are together. It seems silly to others but to them its Not. My husband hates throwing things away too (learned behavior from his family) but we have an understanding that we've never articulated. If I want it gone and he can't deal then I get rid of it and tell him it broke.

maureenroth Exactly,curacaoblue, but MY husband fishes through the garbage and retrieves things, like this disgusting $3 homemade wooden cribbage board that I've pitched at least 5 times (I'm burning it in the fireplace tonight). Fortunately, I've had some success training him over the last 32 years but he still tries to test me from time to time ;-)

curacaoblue Oh boy can't help you there... This is certainly giving me perspective. Good luck ladies!

Susanna Yes Solarsam, that was me. I said it on another thread with a woman's kitchen too. "You ladies are nicer to your husbands than I am to mine, apparently."

You won't believe this but there is another thread with a similar issue called "Does a master bath need a bathtub...." Sheesh! The woman is fighting for the bathtub. So, I gave my experience and opinion but ...it doesn't look like it's helping. You might want to hop over there and vote. Houzz is turning into Spouse Wars.....

solarsam Susanna - I'll check it out. I could use another chuckle!
Curacaoblue and Maureen - whoo boy, I can relate. We have the same issue of him not willing to give anything away and will pull stuff out of Goodwill pile. Yep, ongoing marital issue we can't get around. I need to get smarter and you guys have saved me a pile of $ on a marriage counselor already!! Thanks :)

Architectrunnerguy One simple rule in our house "Happy wife, happy life".

Susanna Architectrunnerguy,
I think you should run for President. :-)

MahtaMouse Personally, I would tell him that he has had 17yrs of bar stool say, now it's your turn for the next 17yrs!

My husband once started re-arranging MY kitchen cupboards! When I complained that I don't go in and re-arrange HIS shop, he had the audacity to say, "YOUR kitchen? I don't see your name on the cupboards!". WRONGO! I promptly grabbed a ball point pen and wrote my name in large cursive on every 'frick'n cupboard door and then turned around and said "NOW you do!". I had to explain those doors to visitors for the next 5yrs before I finally painted over them; but I made my point and had a good laugh.

mpoulsom AMEN, sistas!

creeser Sabotage the bar stools a couple at a time. If every time he sits in one and it falls to pieces, he will be begging YOU to replace them. Not that I've tried this. ;)

Janet Carmichael My husband did this when I changed the couches from facing each other to an L shape. You would have thought I'd asked him to have surgery on his behind. He literally said, "the couches were purchased to be this way, you can't change them". After a few days, he got over it and eventually said he liked it better.

If necessary, change the stools, get naked for when he walks in the door with a drink in your hand for him and believe me, he'll tell his friends that HE LOVES THE NEW STOOLS!

feeny Hubby and I compromise on almost all decorating questions and have a policy that neither of us can buy an expensive new piece without consultation and agreement. So a number of years ago I was at an antique fair and found the most beautiful early 19th-century corner cupboard--gorgeous Shaker lines, absolutely perfect for our house, a match with our woodwork, other furniture, etc. I called him and asked how he felt about my buying it (especially as it was NOT cheap, though a good price for what it was). He said he really didn't think we needed it and I shouldn't buy it. I bought it anyway. When they delivered it that afternoon he immediately said "thank heavens you bought it! It is perfect," and now he claims that if we ever divorce he gets custody of the corner cupboard. It is his favorite piece of furniture in the house. Sometimes you just have to bulldoze ahead when you know you are right.

solarsam Mahtamouse - ROFL, that is GOOD!
Janet - love your solution - hadn't thought about getting nakkid!
Feeny - I KNOW he'll like the new ones better as they're the proper height and will be more comfortable. As you indicated, he'll probably lay his own claim to em.
You guys are all cracking me up!

bubblyjock Nice to wander into a Houzz discussion with a sense of humour!!!

Back to your regular programming...

Darzy Lol. I just found this thread and there are tears of laughter in eyes! Too funny. It took me 10 years to get rid of a fireplace "buckstove" insert. :)

solarsam The new stools arrived today. Thank goodness my local friend was here who helped me picked them out. 5 HUGE boxes arrive. Hubby is recovering from surgery and was hanging there.

I take pictures of opening the first box with dogs excited...and pull it out. It's gorgeous.
I take it over my head to the firepit/kitchen....and, it's obviously the WRONG heighth.
I pretend it's NOT.
I swear you guys, I measured and measured and measured.
What happened was, the seat cushion is 2 or 3" higher than the wood part of the chair, so these are the same as the ones I was replacing. Thought I was getting shorter....argh.
It was not a good moment for me.
I guaranteed dopey husband that they'd be sent back right away - no charge! gulp.

Maybe I'll leave the kitchen and concentrate on another room...

Stool on left is old one. Middle is new one. Right one is existing one.

solarsam Hubby's final comment, they're too damn bulky.

Darzy lol lol lol I'm feelin' for ya solarsam@

Susanna It's official now. You definitely are nicer to your husband! I would have said " so are you!" :-)
My vote now is to hire a professional and have 2 inches cut off the legs.....the stools, not the husband.

onthefence SNORK @ Susanna. Solarsam, can you get those babies gone FAST and convince him once they're gone that his post surgery pain meds are messing with his memory re: how bulky they were?

Susanna Ohhhh. Great idea onthefence! Start the conversation with "are you still seeing those pink giraffes and bulky barstools?"

LB Interiors This was a funny thread, really enjoyed it. It took me 20 years to get rid of double entry doors.

Darzy lol LB Interiors... it only took me 5 years to get rid of double entry doors. : )

LB Interiors I'm lol ...too. This is too crazy. We're all in the same boat What was your trick. I want to know.

LB Interiors We're currently remodeling a very small bath, Hubby wishes we never started. However, I already re-moved all the shower tiles, so ...... guess we have to finish it. oh, poor hubby! We're conflicting on faucets and shower hardware. His mind gets overloaded and wants to keep the ones we have. They just don't work with the new decor.The ones we have now work great. That seems to always be the comment. from him. Anyone have an iedea for this one?

Susanna On a serious note, solarsam, if their listed measurements are 2-3 inches off the actual chair, they will take them back without charge. You said you "measured and measured" so maybe that means the description was off and not you. I would measure the new chair now against their listed measurements and see if it is the same. Maybe this wasn't your fault at all.

sjkingston Yup, got same problem with his not wanting to get rid of hand-me-down barstools that look ridiculous. I wonder if there is a Bar Stools Anonymous we can send our guys to.

Sigrid When I bought barstools, I measured and then sat on a stool of the right height with the measuring tape. Admittedly, I did this at Ikea, when I bought my stools on-line from Pottery Barn, but the process was instructive. Put all your measurements in your phone, put a free, paper Ikea measuring tape in your pocketbook (or ask the salespeople for one) and then you'll be ready when you see what you like.

LB Interiors Aren't most barstool seats 24" or 30" high?. Maybe it's the counter that is off the stardard height? Did your husband give the contractor the measurements.for the counter height?

Susanna LOL , LB.

MahtaMouse LB... best to decide on hardware before you tear into something. It's my experience that most husbands are unable to visualize what we've so creatively laid out in front of them... a pile of magazine photos, drawings that would make DaVinci proud, and three weeks of more explanations than a kindergarten teacher on a maternity ward field trip and STILL he can't see the overwhelmingly clever idea we've presented to them! In the meantime, WHILE HE'S AT WORK put them on CraigsList or Freecycle - trust me, there's always someone who's just chomping at the bit for a replacement faucet and hey, if you make a few bucks while your at it, all the better (clever you!)!

Darzy... I feel your pain! In the beginning, before I got my Clever Hat on, my hubby pulled the wool over my eyes for 5 years. Called me one day to dangle a wonderful piece of catnip in front of me... a pair of antique french doors sitting in a dumpster at a reno site just waiting to replace the butt-ugly sliders in the dinning room. Got them home and then was told that they had to "acclimate" for at least 6 months (really? from town, only 15min away?!). 6 mos turned into 1 year and 1 year into 5 with me dutifully asking every 6-12 months if they were ready yet. Chomping at the bit, I finally just called in a carpenter. During the install, I asked if the doors did indeed have to acclimate 5 yrs and the LOOK I got insured that never again would I fall for hubby's shenanigans!

nononanna I've been lucky up till now because all the removation and building we've done has been when he's incredibly with new jobs or consulting projects and simply doesn't have the time or energy to get involved.

But now all of a sudden he's decided to semi-retire, and we've moved into a new house that needs help and he wants to get involved! ARRRGgghhhhhhh! What makes engineers who haven't looked at a decorating magazine in all of their 59 years think they can decorate! I ask you!

Darzy nononanna and mahtamouse...too funny! It's a control thing and what is "important at the time". Engineer? Wow, you're in trouble,my friend. Design and engineer logic shouldn't be spoken in the same sentence. lol

LB Interiors nononanna and mahtamouse... so funny ... chuckled out loud.. ( col ) did I just create call letters?

LB Interiors mahtamouse, Oh no, deadly to find hardware first, that's where I'm at now and it's a nightmare to find all the items we need, in the color and price point. Hubby wants to forget the whole thing. Thank God, I tore out the shower tiles when he was at work. He was going to do it the next day. Somebody up there was on my side. Ya think? If hardware was first step - no new bathroom for sure, be e e e elieve me! If I waited to remove tile, hardware and entire project would be lost in the universe.

Jill Crowe These are all the reasons we go to the gym, watch our diets, make ourselves beautiful. So he doesn't kick us to the curb when we buy barstools for imaginary giants.

Linda Hey Darzy - stop the engineer bashing! Or, at least limit it to male engineers! Yes, engineers are a different breed and can be totally impossible to deal with.

Appeal to an engineer's sense of orderliness and appropriateness for the use, rather than trying to get him to "see" something artistic or creative. Even pull out the ergonomics issue with appropriate statistics..."Dear, the height of a bar stool should be based on the leg bone length of the primary user with additional allowances for separate users....and did you notice the practicality of the upgraded seat material..." Hopefully he will get so wrapped up into finding statistics to challenge you that you can continue updating the space without his "assistance"

An engineer's version of the optimist/pessimist dilemma...Optimist sees glass half full, pessimist sees glass half empty...Engineer says if you can't read the gauge accurately, you are using the wrong damn glass!

Linda I think we could write a book if we had a thread about how to deal with a spouse for decorating or remodeling issues!

maureenroth I'm just sitting here taking a break from painting our bedroom. If I hadn't learned to do everything from carpentry to repairs, reno, and everything in between years ago, rather than wait for hubby to do it, I'd be long divorced! I feel sorry for my friends who complain about how hard it is to motivate their husbands to do things. I don't even bother. The only problem is that he wants to put in his 2 cents when that's all its worth. lol

Linda What is it about being male that qualifies one to express an opinion on anything remotely considered to be mechanical in nature?

Why do men seem to think that someone who can't even figure out how to lower a toilet seat is qualified to determine the location of that toilet?

Don't you love how some folks will sit and look at something which should be done and have no interest in putting out the effort to accomplish some task but think that whenever someone else starts the project they should instruct the doer on the proper way to do the work?

Darzy @Linda. Funny stuff! No offense meant. :) It was more meant as a "term of endearment". :)

solarsam maureen - wanna get married? lol. You're smart for educating yourself and getting things done yourself.
Linda - you definitely describe my husband who thinks I can't possibly have an opinion of my own without his being added to it or his overruling mine all the time.
He won this round and I'll give him that. But, I am going to think twice before I get him involved in one other single project. Of course, now he's got all sorts of opinions on what I'm going to do with MY sunroom and he's never shown one iota of interest in the room, even when I've asked him for decorating help.
Nope - no more of that.
p.s. my husband can drive all sorts of big rigs and grew up on a grain farm doing untold handyman projects. You think he can turn the knob on a washing machine or fix the multitudes of projects needing done around here? Ok, I better quit while I'm ahead. lol

Scott's Creative Home I have been an interior designer for 25 years. I have a long long journal of similar funny interior sit-coms.

Watch for my up coming show on HGTV

'DESIGN OR DIVORCE'

(Cut the stools off, we do it all the time)

Scott's Creative Home FYI
Standard table height 30"
Standard counter height 36"
Standard bar height 42"

Rule number one in interior design, there is no such thing as standard!

feeny I'm going to put in a good word for husbands here, or at least my husband, who does pretty much all the painting and minor renovations in our house, is incredibly meticulous, and has a great eye for aesthetics. He just doesn't have the same patience for endlessly researching and thinking about design and color and fabric details as I do. So I do most of the planning, narrow down the choices to a few looks that I like, and then he weighs in with his preferences. And, as I mentioned above, I occasionally proceed ahead without him when I absolutely, positively know I'm right. ;-)

Linda So, are we looking for a publisher for the new anthology "Design or Divorce...Take Your Choice"?

onthefence I think there used to be a show on Animal Planet called "It's me or the dog" or something like that.

We may be working toward the pilot of "It's me or the barstool" ;-)

maureenroth too funny, solarsam! My husband is good for one or two things, so I'll keep him for now. ;-)

Bargain Backer Get him plugged into some cool electronic gadgets and he may not notice the change!
http://www.bargainbacker.com/Electronics_c_3148.html.

solarsam feeny - we needed that dose. :) I think I have to admit to myself that my husband does seem to have a better eye than I do and is probably better at decorating than I give him credit for. For instance, I hated this wall tree he found that we have in our entry and you all loved it. So, it stays.

feeny Yes, my husband's refusal to have fussy floral patterns in the house (though oddly he'll accept leaves) has actually saved me from some design choices early in our marriage that I would have tired of too quickly.

orangecamera "Design or Divorce.... find out who gets custody of the bar stools after these words from our sponsor"

Thank you all for this entertaining thread!

Anyone else remember that show "Designing for the Sexes"? I thought it was off the air, but just looked it up and it's still on HGTV. (Tuesdays, 6:30 a.m. here on the east coast).

MahtaMouse feeny: Love that idea! I used the same psychology when my kids were younger... "Do you want to wear this outfit or that outfit?" ...give him a choice of YOUR choices, otherwise you could end up with what I inherited when we married... early 70's Porn Star Brothel in the bedroom, a bar set up in the spare bedroom and a velvet painting hanging promently in the living room! UGH!

maureenroth: LOL! you GO girl! Your a girl after my own heart! I learned years ago after the big French Doors Fiasco, that if I wanted something done, I had to either do it myself, or dive in until I was in way over my head and hubby would grudgingly finish it up (at 4'11", there are a few things I find a bit difficult to accomplish on my own). My first project was connecting the living room with the spare bed room. I was pregnant, had a 8 month old and was feeling claustrophobic with all the playpens, walkers, etc; so after hubby left for work I sledge hammered and sawed my way thru with my toddler clapping me on. Thought I would be done by the time he got home. Didn't take into account that I was 6 mos pregnant and couldn't see my feet... and ended up delivering the following month. Gutted a huge hole in the wall, cleaned up the rubble, neatly stacked my tools, took care of my baby, got a shower and then locked myself in the bathroom when I heard him come in. Hubby sounded like he'd been kicked in the gut and all the wind knocked out of him (he'd had fair warning!), but finished it up the next day. From that day forth, I learned that if I didn't like something I could either change it or at least get it started. Today I've painted our entire rambler inside and out several times, scraped the popcorn off ceilings & plastered them, re-arranged my kitchen lay out, and masterminded quite a few remodeling projects that were far beyond my carpentry capabilities, that my beloved handyman Dave has so brilliantly brought to fruition.

I LOVE the smell of plaster dust in the morning!

solarsam OK, my thoughts after this Barstool project:
First, thanks so much for all the great and humorous comments!
It was a roar an hour. I appreciated all of them and all your help.

The problem with ordering the barstools was this:
They only make 24 or 30 inch stools. (online, anyway)
My counter, like everybody elses is NOT standard, as there is no such thing.
With a 36" counter, I need a 26-27" barstool.
I was doomed from the beginning of this project before I even started.
Houzz was great in helping me realize this.

We have decided to keep the original 4 Stools with backs around the fireplace and cut the legs off.
I now have hubby using his engineering degree with measuring the 'one chair that works' and doing calculations...so, we can think about the remaining 7 backless stools bought (or made) at the proper height.

So - Hey, progress folks!! Thanks again~

solarsam orangecamera - I wanna see a show like that! We could be on it!! ... um, not. but fun.

orangecamera Welcome back to "Design or Divorce". The parties, Mr. and Mrs. Schmolarscham are dividing up the property after deciding they just cannot continue life together with major differences of opinion about bar stools.

Him: You take the bar stools, I never liked them much.

Her: What?! You love those bar stools.

Him: What are you talking about? When we first got married we needed *something* so I went along with your choice. But I always thought they were way too bulky.

Her: THESE are too bulky???? But...don't you remember you told me the new ones I picked out were too bulky?

Him: New ones you picked out? What do you mean?

Her: That time, while you were recovering from surgery. I bought new ones and you told me they were too bulky. I was sad, but returned the new ones since you didn't like them at all.

Him: I don't remember this at all, ex-darling. I must have still been woozy from the anesthesia, and clearly you misunderstood what I said (if in fact I said anything at all). But really, I've always hated these darn bar stools. Did you ever notice they're not the right height for our bar?

Stay tuned for the next show, here on HTV (houzz television), "Redesign and Reconciliation"

solarsam Falling off my chair laughing! Good one!

maureenroth MahtaMouse, I've had 2 Daves! I think I killed them both;they're nowhere to be found! Now I have a new one,tho' his name's not Dave. I call him my man-b**ch! He's way better to work with than my husband. My husband and I tried to install an air conditioner 27 years ago, when I was pregnant with our son-we almost divorced over that one! Now I just leave him out of it. When the kids were little and my husband had just started a new job, I decided to rip out our kitchen.You should have seen his face when he came home! I gutted the whole thing, made all the cabinets including raised panel doors and dovetail drawers, and cared for the kids, who were 5 and 6. I must have been out of my mind. We ate sawdust and plaster dust for 6 months. Yum...

solarsam I missed your post earlier MahtaMouse. It's classic. Wow. It's actually pretty inspirational considering I've never had a baby on my hip while demolishing my house. But, I can definitely learn from this post. And, that's in all seriousness. I've got a new attitude...thank y0u.

MahtaMouse Maureenroth: I just about spit coffee all over my monitor! LOVED your nickname for your "Dave"! I am also impressed... you definitely have mad carpentry skills! My poor hubby was doomed the moment I learned we had self supporting trusses. To me this meant that if I wanted to move a door or 3, or remove a wall... I could. Meanwhile hubby would rant and rave for a predictable 15 minutes, leave me stranded on the roof without a ladder, sit on the couch and watch me remove paneling while pouting, or just plain pout before eventually helping. Ofcourse if someone ever said they loved what was done, he always took credit for the idea. Hubby also had a stubborn streak a mile wide. Some years ago I decided that if I was going to work graveyard, take care of 2 kids, the house and shopping, then I deserved a dishwasher and went to Sears and bought one. The day it was delivered, I slunk into my local tool rental place and quietly said "this is what I want to do..." and like a drug dealer making a deal on the sly, a tool was quietly slid across the counter and gleefully I went home to cut the counter and bar off and remove that *&%# blind cupboard to make way for my new dishwasher. Left the upper bank of cabinets intact as I was sure that I would either kill myself or pull down the ceiling drywall trying to remove them without help. Hubby just about had a coronary when he walked in the house that night and refused to remove those upper cabinets; so at 4'11" I just bided my time sailing right under them with an inch to spare. A few weeks later the silly goose also tried ducking under them but stood up too soon creasing his skull. Those cupboards came down right then and there! Over the years hubby took my tools away from me 3 different times and every Father's Day sales I would restock. Eventually he threw in the towel and bought me a nice set of tools as a gift. He often said that if he was in the dog house, all he had to do was take me on a field trip to Lowes. Contrary to popular belief, I swear it was cancer that got him and not me!

Solaram: I figure that if I want something changed or done badly enough, I can or will find a way to do it; or at least find a work around. I swear I have more Time Life home repair and home improvement books, not to mention Sunset and other DIY and building books than the local library! I have hung chandeliers and changed out light switches to remote controlled light switches using these books. I learned how walls and decks are constructed, and I WATCH when my handyman works. I also have appliance repair books and websites book marked and have used those to take my dryer apart and fix it (thank you DIY Samurai Appliance Repair Man website!). And I just refuse to believe in "no", "can't be done", or "impossible" (hubby's favorite responses) because I know it's not true... yet! ;)

groveraxle Best. Discussion. Ever.

Ironwood Builders Good thing my name is Dave.

designideas4me wow.. this discussion is really long. I saw your original question and had a simple solution. Get a divorce !! Oh yeah this must be why I chose to stay single.

LB Interiors MahtaMouse, You are a crack-up!. Thanks for all the smiles, giggles and chuckles, but, Why do you also have a handyman? What for? You can do everything. Congrats!

solarsam lol MahtaMouse! I agree, how could you possibly need a handyman. Inspirational!!

Susan Flowers Mahtamouse....we think alike...as newly weds, hubby didn't see the sense in painting dreary white apartment walls a livable white....he used the word "forbid"...I had a can of paint and big white stripe on the wall within the hour...when he didn't want an above ground pool for the kids because they were "ugly", I told him point his deck chair to his side of the yard because mine would have a pool.....it's been 35 plus yrs...at this point I don't discuss, I just "presume" any reasonable person would agree with me as I rip up the floor, sledgehammer a wall, etc....now I do not ask him to do any of the work, he is not handy...I do it myself.

maureenroth Brilliant! There's no prerequisite for handling tools that specifies the possession of testosterone. And I'm reasonably certain that it should be a controlled substance that only women should handle ;-) I wish more women (& girls) would stop being intimidated by woodworking, repair, reno, etc. All it takes is a lot of practice curiosity and research, as with anything else. I started woodworking a long time ago because I tried to hire a couple of chuckleheads (friends of a friend,not pros) to do an inexpensive kitchen remodel. They hung around for a couple of hours, I fed them lunch and they took out a tape measure once. After they left, I called a friend who was a millwright and a pretty good woodworker and he convinced me I could do it myself. I was terrified and barely owned a handsaw but he talked me through it and boy was I proud of what I did. I should say that it was a duplex that we rented (the landlord didn't care what we did) and I wouldn't advise someone to just start building their own kitchen & expect it to help in a resale. But the point is that you'd be surprised what you can accomplish with perseverance and a willingness to learn.

LB Interiors Ok, so who's going to write the book? Don't forget to call me for a testosterone testimonial.

MahtaMouse LB & solarsam... I think your thinking of Maureenroth with her mad carpentry skills! Me, I'm just plain mad! Trouble is I'm the height of your average 10 year old with probably the strength to match; tho truth be told I threw in the Classroom Mom towel the day I discovered that the majority of 3rd graders were looking downward when speaking to me. My street cred took a further hit when a couple of them discovered we were wearing the same shoes and one little twit said we were "twinsies, 'cause we're wearing the same sweater!". Don't get me wrong, being small has it's advantages... I can scramble around like a little monkey, climb inside small TV nitches to paint or stain, and my little fingers and hands can go where no man's can. But ask me to man-handle a full sheet of sheetrock by myself and you'll generally find me laying beneath it instead. What I lack in strength and height tho, I more than make up for in rock solid determination. I can demo anything, put together an Ikea cabinet in the dark, blindfolded with one arm behind my back, drag push and man-handle almost anything using all kinds of tricks; and now that I have a tile cutter... the. bathroom. goes. DOWN!

solarsam You're blowing me away MahtaMouse. (and Marueenroth too, for that matter) And, you're funny!
I am also short and have always sort of left the manhandling up to those bigger than me.
However, I've recently learned I can do all sorts of things without help like lighting propane burners outside & changing tanks! Filling my own vehicle with fuel for the first time. (I live in OR but now travel solo to other states so have reaquainted myself on how to fit myself into the drivers seat of a pick-up truck and drive across the country) Truck camp in the thing for days! My new independence is probably what has inspired me to attack 'the enemy' in the house, the one who hates change. So, either the war has really started now or I'll have to just go travel more often with my dog. However, the legs got cut off the chairs today! After 17 yrs, I guess you could call that progress..? (I haven't seen them yet - Hubby did it)

maureenroth Ooh, I have a blow torch attached to a propane tank that I use to kill weeds on may patio. I don't pump gas though, a girl can have limits!

solarsam I like that. I'm not afraid of gas anymore.

maureenroth I'm not afraid of gas, even love the smell. I just don't wanna get out of the car and do it. I'm a bizarre mixture of high and low maintenance!

Susan Flowers My philosophy is...know your load bearing walls and leave them alone....as well as major electrical projects...with anything else, what's the worst that will happen....you'll have to find someone to get you out of your mess...I recently gutted a bath and was nervous about putting in a new shower....everything went great until I threw away the shower control knob, not knowing that every brand has different plumbing, you can't just change the handle....took photo to plumbing supply and met a couple great guys who told me I had 1980s American standard stainless plumbing...and while I couldn't get the designer handle I wanted without having the plumbing redone....I did get a more modern handle...and let's face it...only men would design plumbing so handles couldn't be modernized without major plumbing work!!!! Often wish I had a career in product development/tool design....for instance I put in a laminate floor where entire length had to be laid together...as a 120 lb woman, trying to fit an 18' length of flooring together was a challenge....very poor design for a beautiful floor.

solarsam IF you don't mind me saying, this sounds a lot like how Apple/Mac have designed their products. Each new piece requires major plumbing devices...all new. This pisses people off and let's hope the market will not let their trickery dominate the markets. As you say, there is a way around all of this...another inspiration. Thanks, Susan.

Linda I am 5 feet tall, as long as I'm wearing my thick socks. I'm not as strong as most guys, but I've learned quite a bit from all the people I've worked with who have worked as professional movers. When you don't have brute strength, you have to use your brain so you learn little things like measure first, use wheels, use levers, and work step by step. The biggest problem I have working with the guys is that they tend to forget that I can't see anything placed on a top shelf and I can't lift things over the edge of the truck

One of the major irritations in my life was cleaning the gutters on the front and back of my house (2 stories up). I don't mind heights but my husband does not like climbing tall ladders. A couple of years before I met my business partner, hubby and I finally bought a 32 foot extension ladder which would reach the gutters from any point. But, neither of us really understood how to raise an extension ladder. So, we were trying to walk it up and my husband was telling me to raise it up and I told him I needed a ladder to get it any higher cause my arms were just too short. Eventually we prevailed, but the next time we needed to use it, we suckered our fireman neighbor into putting it up. Now, I have been working with my business partner for several years and I've learned a bit more about ladders. I can easily do a 16 and I can move an extended 24 foot ladder and I could probably even put it up if absolutely necessary, but that 32 foot is just too much for me.

Now I get my business partner to put up the ladder for gutter cleaning. I keep telling him that I don't mind cleaning them if he will just put up the ladder. But, he typically goes up and cleans them anyway so I get stuck on the ground cleaning up the mess while I would much rather be up making the mess.

solarsam Linda..thanks for sharing. Yes, we little people often have to settle for cleaning the dust off something the tall people dislodge, and maybe that is just our lot in life, but you are inspirational about figuring out how to work ladders in your favor. Thank you!!!

orangecamera Ah, wheels! They're my best friend since I'm lacking in strength. I still use the plastic (Little Tykes) wagon I originally bought when my children were little. I use it to haul everything from groceries to bookcases. The front, back and sides are all removable, and it becomes a flatbed. It's also light enough that I can lift it into the trunk of my midsized car myself.

orangecamera oops, meant to add pictures, here they are:

LB Interiors Great little wagon, Love it. I want one!

MahtaMouse Orangecamera: My poor little red wagon is beat to death, but I love and couldn't live without her! She's an old fashioned metal Radio Flyer that I scored at a garage sale. Saw her for $5, offered less and was told I'd have to ask her little owner since she was hoping to make enough to walk to Dairy Queen down the road with her friend. I didn't bother asking, but paid her full price :D Today I use that wagon to haul firewood for my wood stove, bricks and pavers, bags of potting & top soil, as well as book cases and building supplies; she's a real work horse!

Another thing I can't live without are "Moving Men"! Those little wonders come in all sizes from tiny to jumbo and are available at dept & hardware stores. I've single handedly moved large antique buffets with mirrors, full size beds with mattresses, bookcases, sofas and more! Love! Love! Love them!

groveraxle Did you know that when you order a 28' retractable awning and they deliver it, that delivery means they drive it to your house? YOU are responsible for unloading it. And they give you a date, but not a time so if you hire a crew, they may be standing around all day? And it comes in a 32' box and weighs 309 pounds?

Did you also know that it can be done by two smart women with three furniture dollies? It's all in the leverage, of course.

My contractor needed FIVE guys to complete the install. And they had the nerve to complain about how heavy it was.

orangecamera LB Interiors, it's called "Little Tykes Explorer Wagon" and can be found on amazon.com for under $100 with free shipping. You can probably find them at garage sales for a lot less, if you keep your eyes open :)

Ironwood Builders The ladder story reminds me of the time my ex and I were painting the house. Needed a forty foot ladder to get up to the gables. I lifted my end and she stood on the last rung. I got about midway and asked how come it wasn't tilting...not looking up. She asked me if she should just jump off....though the four feet she was up in the air seemed sort of far...I had to call a buddy to manage the length of the thing.

maureenroth I was at the top of my 32 ft ladder once, painting the house, and all of a sudden that ladder started to violently shake and this little kid was at the bottom saying 'hey lady, what are you doing?' When I got the hell down and looked across the street, his father and a neighbour were looking over and chuckling. grrrr. Now I ALWAYS tie the ladder off at the top.

sayboone That kid is very lucky a bucket of paint didn't "accidentally" fall on his head!!

maureenroth Trust me, if I wasn't shaking so much, it would have.

Jill Crowe It's not the kid, it's the parent who told him to do it! No kid would do something like that of his own volition. The men used the kid to pick on the lady in a dangerous manner. Dump excess paint on his lawn.

LB Interiors Am I really a part of this crazy conversation? I've got lots of things to do. This is insane!

rookielz Me being me, I would have cut some of the length off the lower legs if it was just a matter of an inch or two.

pamzella I'd love to see a before and after of the stools!

julie77777 This whole thread is awesome!!! Oh, and I could add to the husband discussion .... got a procrastinator on my hands and he is offended if I ask if I can hire someone to finish up a project he's gotten half way through and suddenly has little interest in finishing, etc, etc, etc!!

Robin W This thread is a fantastic read! I'm a single mom, paramedic and do-it-yourselfer and have done a few projects around the house that have made my male co-workers blush with envy. Good job ladies!!!