docilana Great article.now how do I convince my husband to dispose of all the, wires screws , nails and other such stuff which has accumulated over 30 years?

Alison Hodgson Ha! I know it can be hard when not everyone is on the same page. I'm going to address that in the coming weeks.

docilana Now I need tips on how to convince my husband of all the above. Thanks

groveraxle Thanks for this article, Alison. It's hard it is to let things go, so it's good to be reminded of the freedom it will bring.

bweinst Great article, and I also went to your other article on the tips to get with the minimalist mentality! Thank you!

Apartment 46 for the Home I cannot tell you how many families I work with that have serious psychological ties to things. I studied Space Clearing for nine years and it was a really intensive process. While the foundation of it is rooted in spirituality, it's also common sense. As the belief is that we are tied with strings of energy to every single thing in our space - wires, broken objects, family photos, etc. - it can be completely overwhelming to look around and see how much of our energy is just gone. After a deep cleaning, people always feel better. This is why. They've severed unnecessary ties (or so the teaching goes). I have sat and held a client's hand while she cried about the guilt she's been carrying holding on to things that never had a place in her home but were foisted on her by her parents. I've been mediator for couples having serious knock-down fights about the unopened boxes of stuff sent from unknown relatives that are "heirlooms". I have counseled couples on understanding that it isn't fair to assume their own children will want to go through life trucking boxes of stuff from home to home because they feel obligated to do so. Lastly, I am always dealing with at least one client family who needs "permission" to not save every single thing their children create (especially when the child is 4), knowing that they will soon be covered in children's creations that they cannot manage.

I am a much more ruthless editor than my clients of course, but having a person assist in the process does wonders. My favorite saying is, "Okay, have a moment, but then let's move on. Don't dwell." I think the the most serious example of this was a client who saved EVERYTHING from her wedding. I'm not joking. She had been married 10 years and I uncovered a huge box of favors never given out, among loads of other things, and I said," X, you already have HIM, and photos, and the life you live now to remember that day by. This stuff is really too much." She agreed. We saved a couple mementos, made a beautiful (small) box, and she was unburdened.

diyjames Another inspiring article Alison. Thanks!

scarbowcow If you want to know how to declutter, go to Flylady.net. It's free. It's also sometimes unbearably cutesy. But her system - once you figure out what she's talking about - actually WORKS. She teaches you how to do a little bit at a time: how to declutter 15 minutes per day, or how to get your house cleaned in 6 ten-minute spurts and how to keep it that way with very short daily efforts. She teaches you how to make housework and decluttering a routine that becomes so automatic you may find yourself doing it at work and in hotel rooms.

It really can revolutionize your life if you're wallowing in clutter and never seem to be able to catch up with the cleaning, laundry, outdoor maintenance, bill-paying, etc.

I was never taught how to clean a house. Or rather, I was told to clean the house but never allowed to throw anything away. And it was impossible to clean around piles of STUFF. So all I ever really learned to do was shovel all the STUFF into hidden piles to give the pretense of having a clean house, when in fact the living room was the only clean room - and that only as long as the visitors were there. Flylady has taught me how to have an organized, tidy home without having massive cleaning sessions on Saturdays or panic attacks whenever anyone mentioned dropping by.

As for husbands who won't get rid of ANYTHING, Flylady has an answer for that: don't worry about his stuff. Declutter your own; settle into your own routines and family will begin to see and follow your lead. Literally, put your own (areas of the) house in order FIRST. Many if not most husbands and children start to follow the lead of the woman of the house when they see that she's practicing what she preaches, especially if she explains what she's doing and why she's doing it, and then doesn't preach but just sets an example.

I strongly recommend Flylady: even though I have a low tolerance for cute (and a lower tolerance for butchering the English language), it works and it's free, and you can't really argue with that. All the organizing information I have read on Houzz was either obviously lifted from Flylady (including some of her cutesy labels for things) or covered better by her system of sending regular reminders to her members via e-mail (she calls it 'Flywashing' - cutesy, see?). Because in fact you can read all the ideabooks and real books about organizing that you want, but unless you just get up and start doing it, bit by bit, you won't get anywhere. Flylady provides the way to get you moving, Flybaby-step by step (more cutesy), so eventually you look around and realize that your house is company-ready and it never seems to get all that dirty or messy.

Christine Ok I have a few things to say on this subject. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH US AS A SOCIETY? What is wrong with keeping old love letters or some wrinkled craft from camp we made when we were 12 or the hat you took your child home from the hospital in? I have been covering a bunch of sites and blogs and there is some type of declutter/minimalist/toss/trash/eviscerate vibe going on that IS NOT HEALTY!

We live in an increasingly digital age and this modern way of living is also pushing us to disconnect from each other in ways that resemble Grand Canyon leaps. Many kids live and relate soley through "social networking" on the computer, they bully, hate, take inapropriate pictures and basically embarrass themselves (and the adults aren't too far behind them). They do this because the small social ettiquettes we pass from one to the other, from parents to child, between friends, from generation to generation is quickly being lost for the sake of making our lives "easier" or less cluttered. To allow us the convenience of not having to deal with it. We are losing important parts of ourselves through these processes.

These items are actually part of the thread of who we are as individuals and families and friends. I sometimes come across old love letters from guys I dated and my husband and when I read them I am transported right back to the day I wrote it or got it or mailed it or put it away to be read again. My dad passed away 9 years ago and I still get choked up on certain days thinking about him. However when I see a card he wrote to me I see very vividly the day he asked me to be his Valentine's because my mom was in Canada and he had to give her chocolates to someone and my brothers were not interested. I see the card he touched, and picked for her and gave to me. I see his crooked handwriting. I remember sitting on the edge of my parents bed when he asked and when I gave him a hug and we ate a few pieces together. I could toss his card but I don't because I want that feeling of knowing that through time a little piece of me remains connected to that memory by touching his handwriting.

I also believe we can have a beautiful home that is lovinging created and built upon. Clean and warm. Inviting and charming but for me there is nothing like being able to call upon both my memories and to see my history at my fingertips. Alison I am sorry a fire took your letters but in addition to the memories the mementos matters as well.

Transforming Rooms Great article Alison, the 4 excuses I hear everyday! One thing for sure, once I convince people to remove clutter in one room, it causes a chain reaction from room to room until the entire house is clutter free. It must be due to the peaceful cleansing feeling they get ....once they love one room, they can't wait to do more!

I tell them to ask themselves one question "Do I absolutely love this?" if not, donate it to someone who will appreciate it. Obviously that question is a bit dramatic, but it's effective.

For some inspiration, here are some decluttering tips & photos:

http://www.interiordesigngreensboro.com/search?q=bookshelf+clutter

Alison Hodgson I agree, groveraxle. It's all about freedom.

Alison Hodgson Thank you, bweinst! I hope they're helpful.

Alison Hodgson Apartment 46 for the home, it's clear you're doing important work with humor and grace, which is wonderful.

Alison Hodgson scarbowcow, I think Flylady is great; i love her attitude and relentless encouragement. And I know a lot of people for whom her system doesn't work. It's always helpful to know you're not alone and that small changes can be the beginning of major transformations. Thanks for commenting.

johnandbrett Surely there's a halfway point. Old letters don't take up much space and are a beautiful and unique reminder of your youth. China does take up space, though, and giving it away is a good solution. Take a picture of it so you can remember your grandmother.

Gifts you don't like can go straight to the trash or freecycle.

Alison Hodgson johnandbrett, the point is to keep what brings you joy.

I didn't tell the whole story: while my husband and I were in high school, his father died and my dad's business was embezzled causing my parents to sell our home to avoid bankruptcy. Those particular old letters represented one of the most painful times in my life. Rereading them brought sorrow and grief. They were not a beautiful reminder of our youth.

On the other hand I saved every single scrap of paper with my children's handwriting, especially anything which expressed their love for me. It was neatly stored in a medium sized Rubbermaid, the loss of which brought me to my knees. As did the little New Testament Bible my father inscribed with a prayer for me when I was three and I found going through things after his death. That was a treasured possession until I lost it in the fire. That would never be clutter.

Each one of us gets to decide what is too much or enough. My experience is that a lot of people struggle with being servant to their possessions, but of course not everyone is. Others have it well under control, just like my friend who can eat cookies all day, every day and never gain weight; it's just not an issue for some.

I don't think anyone walking into my home thinks, "Minimalist!" I hear "It's so inviting!" I have the things I love but it's what I personally am able to maintain. It's going to be different for everyone.

Thanks for commenting.

Alison Hodgson Transforming Rooms, thanks! Nice work. I have an ideabook coming out next week specifically about books. I'll warn you, I'm a total maximalist in that regard.

Sigrid @Christine
Maybe your mileage is different, but many people discover they've saved so much hay that when they want the heirloom needle they know is somewhere, they can't find it. That's certainly true for me.

Angela Pascoe I completely understands both sides. For twenty one years I was in the Army and travel to numerous places and have a momento to show. I just started on this process of purging myself. I have come to realize that I do not need four barstool instead two is fine. It is just me and my daughter. Granted since retiring I have pretty much been donating every six months to the Veterans in my area but I still have too much. I bought a shed and moved most of the stuff from garage to there. So I am downsizing but at the end of the day there are some things that I will not give away. For now at least.

nitrodi thank you so much !i just need to read this this morning ! my stuff are out of control , and i really want to tide up everthing.

pauli12 What a great ideabook and 'advicebook"! I, too have felt this tension. I got it honest, from my mom who keeps things but loves it and makes it look good and wonderful.
I thought I was supposed to be like her and tried it, but I wasn't happy. I felt smothered. Too many things... even old journals were bringing me down.
I have begun doing the things you suggest which, by the way, are all so true.
I feel so much better, lighter and best of all, as you say, more in control.
This is a wonderfully written, lovely piece that goes to the heart and soul of the matter.
Thank you for it.

midmodfan It is revealing that a fire can bring relief. It rids us of things we didn't dare to part with.

That also tells us something about what's wrong with our society: even as adults we are too often stuck in feelings of guilt, imposed by our families.

Sierra Jones Completely agree Christine! Very well put.
I am 30, my husband 33. We have been together since I was 17. I kept every note, letter and card he wrote to me. I think getting rid of these items would destroy me personally. I love reading them every so often. One little box in my closet is not causing any harm...or clutter.

As a teenager I always kept a diary. By the time I moved out at 18, I had probebly close to ten diaries filled. They all went in the garbage. It's not even funny how many times I regret doing that. There is nothing I can look at or read that will help me remember my thoughts as a teen so intimately. A quick decision that seemed great at the time, I regret now SO much.

I have five kids, so obviously I don't keep every art project or book report. Every year I save the 'best' art/projects until the end of the year, then I go through and save two pcs per child to put away. I don't have tons of boxes full of every piece of paper they ever wrote on, but when they get older, I will have something to show them...and their kids from their childhood.

Jean Corey Unwanted family heirlooms should always go to another family member, if at all possible, not a friend. Some other family member may cherish those things.

llittlef21 So funny - I was JUST thinking how I have a closet FULL of clothes that my mom made for me. Some are old! Like 20 years old! And none of them fit anymore, but I cannot get rid of them. She passed away almost 5 years ago. Maybe in a few more years I can let go. I'll work on some other place to de-clutter for now.

chev37 littlef21 you might make a quilt, rag rug, pillows from some of the things your mother made for you that don't fit...make a purpose for them..it would honor your mother instead of burden you. Nothing like a quilt to wrap around your shoulders when you need a hug.

grizzly I am a jack of all trades (and master of none) so I have quite a bit of hardware and materials in stock at all times. Much of it is salvaged stuff for re-use. When I prepared to move to my new home, I sorted through everything in my garage and made a determination of what would truely be of likely use in the remodel of the house I was buying.

I put an add on Craigslist for free stuff. A young man came and took away one and a half (full size) pickup truck loads of stuff. I have not missed it. Now I can actually locate hardware items etc. that I did keep when I need them.

Lindy Price Excellent and so true!

catclawrose Owning an estate sale company, I come across a LOT of home owners,(usually Grandchildren, children, spouses,etc.), who "need" to make huge piles of the "things" they feel the need to keep, to remember,"_____________". I usually tell them that the best memories aren't "things", and we sit and talk about a select few items that really meant the most. Most of the clients we deal with, are older, have their own established households, and when they realize that they truly DON'T need all of,"________'s" stuff to remember him/her, it gets a little easier for them. Or we hope it does. I tell them that their items are simply finding the new home that will love and cherish them... I had no clue, when I bought the company, after my boss passed away, three years ago, just how many emotions I would have to deal with ! But, I have to say,(we're fixing to be smack in the middle of a major upheaval/move !), when I had a huge yard sale, I had very little problem, watching a LOT of items from my home, walk away, and go to new homes. And, when I am discovering items that I have had, for years, from family members, that my grown children cringe about, when the're terrified that they may inherit them,(one is a very large, very gorgeous antique diamond ring-the kids gag when they see it, and I don't even wear it, because it's set in really soft gold !), I'm sending several of these items to a very reputable auction house, to be sold-then I can spend the money on myself or the kids. And duh, I realized that, with the company I own, I can pretty much guarantee that another item like the one I had, will come strolling through, at some point in time !!!

JAN MOYER Yesterday I spent a morning reviewing our progress thus far with a client who is half way through a major remodel/ redecorating project. The entire process of getting from A to D has been more difficult than necessary, due to crates and more crates, piles of "deceased pseudo accessory decor" like cheap faux flowers, and every bibelot one could ever find in a TJ Maxx or Marshalls including "art". And sheer VOLUME of every item you can imagine, including trays, bowls, candles, vases. She loves what has been accomplished to now. BUT!! Lurking below us in the basement, is a minefield. A MAJOR minefield. Teen decor from her daughters room, who now lives alone in her own apartment in another city, every memento from every age and time. The boys junk and who knows what, dating to their ages of who knows when. Useless furniture from Grandma. Volumes of seasonally oriented table and serving items....you name it, it is down there.
Together, we have made some minimal progress, and some stuff has left. But it's not been without angst, discussion over the most useless tired item. I encounter this all the time with clients, and it is difficult because you can see the fear, the emotion, the anger, the confusion, the clinging to a time of life, no matter how wonderful, that has come and gone and will not return. I gently explained that "kids move on and that is evidence of YOUR job well done!", that they "will not come back for this stuff, they will not EVER go through it, and you have made yourself the custodian of clutter and its attending stress, and they give neither the stuff, nor your storing it,, nor this basement a thought" At that point, we stopped. That simple truth is too much, she is bordering screaming at me but containing herself. I will go down there and do the UNsentimental purge while they are away. I will stack all the sentiment, and toss the deceased decor in the dumpster in the driveway, and try to make some space and order. All I can say is she has a ton of company, and my bet is only a fire would remove the rest. If I had a nickel for each time I encounter this scenario...... I'd be filthy filthy rich. You can only do the tough love, if you can risk never returning.....maybe on the day the last lamp is plugged in, and the last picture hung.... maybe then i could really help.

astraea Christine – I think it’s just a matter of “volume” sometimes. And going back to the definition of “addiction”; the important part is, “when it begins to negatively affect your daily life.” My family kept old family heirlooms, partially because they had homes large enough, that things could be stored neatly without being seen. Now that everyone is gone but me, I have the heirlooms I love on display, and the rest in 2 toy chests in my crafts room, because they are very meaningful .. even if they aren’t displayed .. and my house doesn’t look cluttered. That includes a few of my grandmother’s Passover cooking pieces, a baby blanket, and things collected on my travels. Easily organized for someone to dispose of, when I'm no longer around (or downsize)!

patricia beharry When some dies tragically, You hold on to certain items; you feel as though you betray them to give their things away. It is the only way to hold on to them.

llswink We will be moving to a much smaller home in the next month or two. It's in the country, there is no garage, and we have a lot of STUFF. My mother used to call me the family historian because I kept all the STUFF. But now that we are moving into the mountains and into a home that is so much smaller, I have to ask myself, "Do I really need the box of Christmas bears that I used to decorate in my classroom, or the box of hundred year old diplomas from my husbands relations that he doesn't even care about (who do you give hundred year old velum papers to?), or all the other once cherished family items that have been passed down, again his family, when he has no interest?" Probably not.

We have few family members left and even fewer that want these things. Why do I need them? I know I have to scale way down and I have been thinking about it. Faced with the move, and encouraged by your article, I think I can accomplish this!

We are 60. This is our retirement home. We need a fresh, clutter free start. Alison, thank you for being the voice of reason!

applelily12 The note from docilana really struck home to me. My husband was always handy around the house putting up shelves, curtain rods, minor wiring, etc. We always had a surplus of screws, nails, etc in the garage. One year for Christmas I gave him a big plastic box to sort everything and put nails and all other things in slide out drawers. He never used it...I was the one who sorted it all out and arranged things. Later on when we needed handy work done, he would still run out to the store to buy new ones rather than look at what we already had. Leftover stuff got thrown in a drawer.
He passed away in 2007. The garage was still an unorganized mess. Rather than sort thrugh everything, I just sold "as is" the tool chest and contents to a anyone who wanted it.
Some people are neatniks and some aren't. I am a neatnik, hubby wasn't. It really helps in a marriage if one of you is a neatnik otherwise you end up buried under clutter. Although packrats can get very angry if their stuff is thrown out.
However I need to say, some people are just born neatniks. Two of our children are neat as a pin, the others aren't and they were this way when they were young children.

crabbygirl Oh yes Grandmas China. When I married we were given my husbands Grandmothers China. It was not my style but we used it for a while then boxed it; for his nieces to aquire when they came of age. At the time they were 7 and 5. For years we moved that China and sometimes paid for storage. When they were of age 17 or 18 they politely said ; we do not want that China its not our thing. Welcome to being green. The only green was ours spent on storing that China. So here's the lesson. What may have been the thing in the 30's will not be the THING in the 21st century.

Neatsmart What a great article! I'm a professional organizer who blogs and you just articulated my beliefs about "stuff" beautifully. I really enjoyed your writing style and will read more of your blog. Thanks!
Carrie
carrie@neatsmart.com

mlkos I'm ready! Thank you!!

susanabc Loved hearing everyone's viewpoints, but I'm surprised that no one suggested digital solutions. If there's some toy or child's drawing I feel attached to, I take a photograph and then I feel totally comfortable giving/throwing it away. If i ever got around to it i could put the photos in a digital album. But probably i'll never bother. As for old letters and diaries, I scan them and store them on an external hard drive.

Catherine Gardner I think I shall keep this and re read it until I am changed. Mind you, I will not print out a hard copy.

ashantombi Thanks for this article!! I'm RIGHT THERE at present.
My Mom has passed on and the family house is being sold. I've stayed with her for the last 17tears and had a lot of 'stuff' from my old life as well. So now it's time to love what I have as I will be moving into a (much) smaller place.
Thank you very musch agaain.

Allison Ball Great article especially when we are about to move! Also, my mother is a sentimental keeper of everything and I tend to want to be the extreme opposite...this article helps me see how there could be a middle ground.

lolindenbach When my husband died a year ago I put out 10 files boxes to fill with the things I wanted to keep. Friends took away everything else. I now realize I will actually only keep just a few of the things I packed. At the time it was important to keep them but at some point I know they will become a burden and need to go. thanks for the great article!

JAN MOYER Catherine Gardner,
Keeping it is nice, and reading it is good too. You won't change YOU, but you CAN change your surroundings and like the result so much, that the YOU that is the keeper ..... feels like you don't want the other surroundings, which are the result of the keeping! The first step to a change is beginning, and the realization that you will always need a certain vigilance when it comes to the keeping, storing sentimental you? : ) I wish you much good luck, and some major success!

astraea Llswink – I can relate to the “100 year old diplomas” issue! When my elderly aunt came to live with me, she had not only her diplomas, but her brother’s as well .. from the days when they were large-format & very impressive. Seeing the shape they were in, I had them laminated for her, and she was so pleased! But when both she & her brother died, not even his daughter wanted his .. but I didn’t have the heart to throw them out!

Crabbygirl – Ah, the china! I wound up with 3 sets of “good china”, when my Mom died. As I have no children & my own china, I thought my cousin’s kids – young newlyweds – would appreciate not having to spend a lot on nice service-for-12 china .. but as you said, it “wasn’t their taste”. Only the Noritake bone china found a new home with a cousin!

Susanabc – Sometimes the “value” is more that a family member used, played with, or physically cared for something 100+ years ago, than its likeness of it. To have something actually created by a child, or the original sepia photograph, means more than their scanned versions .. although those are important to archive & share easily within a family.

cynthiasings A few years ago my husband and I did a major de-clutter, or purge, as I like to call it. It was so freeing. And we gave things away, did not sell anything. To Brooklyn Free Cycle, to Goodwill, to a friend who had lost a ton of stuff to a house fire, math books to Africa, valuable math books to The Library of Congress, and we threw away TONS of stuff. The best thing we ever did to take control of our lives. We cleaned and organized everything. We did it because I realized that we were being controlled and pushed out of our apartment by our accumulation. Never again. And we are now free and love our apartment again!

pjbalhorn I'm convinced. Now.... to convince my husband is a whole other story.

pkburk You forgot the "We can sell it!" problem.

linduca Ah... this all hits home!

tkap5 Great article! I love the statement: "minimalism is having what you love, but not a bit more than you can maintain." That was very helpful for me!

akathyj Beautifully stated rationale for an important topic. Now what if I want to re read it? Where may I save it? Oy! Thanks very much, and Godspeed.

hnf1 Such wonderful words of wisdom; and, oddly nurturing.

Alison Hodgson Catherine Gardner, that made me laugh. Of course you can bookmark it here. Be gracious to yourself in the process.

kestral I really enjoy your humorous writing, your sensible advice, and the great photos.

sclawson Great article. I sold Grandma's depression glass china on ebay and have taken many more items i don't use anymore to consignment stores. I live in a smaller place now, and my tastes have evolved. I think the hardest part is letting go of something I paid a lot for, knowing I won't get that much for it. Sometimes I "let go" in stages, and this works for the consignment shop too because they don't always have room for everything I'm not using. ;->

blcrisp I feel the same--conflicted about getting rid of old letters and cards that my husband and I exchanged through the years. However, our lives have taken an adventurous turn beginning with our letters exchanged while he was in sitting in a watermelon field in Cambodia and I was protesting the Viet Nam war at Kent State. He then backpacked around the world for 11 months and we have all of those adventures on record. When my mom and grandparents passed away, I found all the postcards we had sent them from our travels and time spent living in foreign countries. I keep hoping that someday we will write about those times in our life and the research is right at hand. Then I think, "But who cares?"

bdlek Such good advice. I have found that taking a photo of sentimental objects, then giving them away works wonders. I have a computer file of "Old stuff" if I want to see anything again.

calkelley It's funny - in some ways, my mother was a collector, in others she threw out a lot of things her 9 kids made/had with no sentimentality. I remember we all had one drawer to store 'kept' things and in mine was a project I had done at about 6-8. It was an art painting square that was pasted onto a larger paper. Then we all drew/colored what we thought was the rest of the scene.
I really wish I had that- it was such a clever idea and I loved those drawings.
And it's always funny when you're pushing your kids for better grades and they find that old report card of you or your spouses!

wantsideas I think some people are afraid to even start de-cluttering because they think they will have regrets down the road. Out of sight, out of mind works for me. I’ve packed up some items that I was on the fence about getting rid of and put them in an out of the way space in the basement. A few months later I haven’t given any thought to them or missed them so they are now gone. A two step process but no regrets.

calkelley Just moved a 1 1/2 yrs ago. We had to declutter our attic in a hurry. I wish I had had more time as I regret throwing some of my things away - some old stuff animals of mine, of the boys. I know we now have a garage full of unpacked boxes (partially due to being away a lot, partially due to a depressive period) and I'll get to them and don't mind. But I do regret some of the things that were thrown out in haste that meant something to me.
I don't regret throwing out some things from relatives that had no meaning to me personally.

On the other hand, the china that was my grandmother's was one of the few things my mother had from her mom before her stepmom sold everything of her predecessor that my grandfather was keeping for my mom.
I love bringing it out at Christmas and holidays. It makes me think of my mom as a little kid.
And my husband's grandmother's old pasta roller is back in use.

One of the things my aunt gave me when we went to Texas after my father died (he was living with his parents then) was a rolling pin for my daughter - it had been made by him for his big sister when she was married and she had used it for so long. My daughter loves having something from her grandfather and loved the story with it

Kathleen IIswink, couldn't agree with you more. We have gone through the same process as you. We sent photos to our son so he could decide what he wanted sent to him, large and small items given away or sold, clothes sorted for a different climate. I now treasure even more the things I have kept and they take pride of place in our decor. Don't miss a thing and find it easier to sort through. I also have changed in my shopping habits only purchasing things I really need.

Diane Johnson I so disagree about destroying the letters. A few years before my parents' death, we ran across their letters to each other the year before their marriage. After 64 years, they both enjoyed re-reading the letters and I enjoyed reading them too. My daughter typed the letters into a computer file and printed them out, assembled them in a notebook for my father's 90th birthday. (At this point my mother had died.) My father so enjoyed those letters! I ran across the computer file last week (now six years after my father's death.) I can't tell you what those letters mean to me! You might want to save space by scanning these letters. But, please don't lose them completely. Two generations from now, your family will cherish them and get to know you a little by reading your correspondence. You won't be around to be embarrassed. But, your descendants will know something about you. If you don't scan the letters, keep them in a special decorative container in a special place. There are so many other things you can purge to create more space.

oldblackdog I love that you confessed to being torn about a screw.One screw. I get it. and I 've become swamped by it.

One more category that I have is this: I INVESTED [money, energy and, most of all, aspirational wishing] in this and I really mean to ( insert your daydream here): paint, play the cello, sew marvelous original clothing, have a huge garden, camp in the Rockies ..... and someday ...

I find this all the more difficult to jettison because I "hung my hat on it" so to speak, back in the days when I had no time... and pretended that time was the only issue. So you ( I ) have to face the fact that i am not THAT imaginary person, I am me, and I have to make a decision if I do now want to be surrounded by detritus from every life phase.

Seattle Staged To Sell As a Seattle home stager, I see many homes where the homes were cluttered and overwhelmed with stuff because of one or two of these obstacles that you have mentioned in your blog.

EVERY SINGLE TIME, after we have helped them to de-clutter their homes and get it ready for the market, they tell me, why didn't I do that earlier? I love my home.

What they are feeling and loving is the sense of FREEDOM and that is priceless. De-cluttered and simple rooms are soothing and that is something we all need when we come home, since our world outside is so hectic and over stimulated.

oldblackdog Seconding the recommendation above: if you are personally looking for help - try FlyLady. I've read most everything else on this , and while there are some very interesting approaches and analyses, FlyLady covers most everything in a way that anyone can follow and adapt. This is for those [of us] who know they have a problem. It's not about redecorating. It's hardcore guidance for change.

lauraoffice Alison, great article, to be bookmarked. Hasn't everyone cleaned out a closet or cupboard, and after doing so, opened the door to take a good look inside again? I experience a rush of satisfaction on purging and cleaning it out.

Feng Shui practitioners believe change is energy, clutter prevents change. Our lives should always be changing flowing, if they become cluttered they become stagnant, and stop flowing and growing in new directions. Love houzz. Have to check out the space clearing article by apt.46 and flylady site. thanks.

bungalowbabe "... having what you love, but not a bit more than you can maintain" I'm not a minimalist, but this was great. I have boxes of things I paid too much $$ for that are no longer collectable. Having them reminds me of how much money I wasted. They need to go NOW! Thanks for the push.

oldblackdog A last one re: Christine's comments. I too really believe that some things ARE precious, and that they have a certain magic. If you should have greatgrandchildren, imagine how intrigued they would be to see handwritten letters or cards from their ancestors. E.g. I have a letter written in the late 1800's by an uncle who fought in the Boxer Rebellion; how often do you get to link your life to historical events? Fascinating. Some other old stuff from grandparents' attic went to a local historical society ( safer storage, and a good use) - thank god grandma was a packrat!

I don't see decluttering as meaning that you must dump everything - only that when we hold onto too many things without considering their significance to us, we can get stuck in a bog where that stuff is preventing us from living fully now.

petbar This is the day I had set aside to clean out two rooms that are full of stuff that is no longer being used, not needed and so on. I have had some anxiety over it because I know what usually happens when I decide to tackle this segment of my life/home....I end up being undecided about 3/4 of the things I should get rid of and then they get rearranged into a neater looking mess. Well I sat down at my laptop before taking on the dreaded task, feeling a little guilt because I knew it was an attempt to put off something that I felt would end up unsucessful anyway. Then I came across this article in my email of Houzz weekly update. What perfect timing! I am going to print it out when I am done writing this note of appreciation and hang it in the room as I go. Thank you so much....you actually spoke to ME today.

victoria323 This is such helpful information; thank you, Alison. I look forward to implementing some of these ideas further! I'm not good at reducing my belongings in general, but I'm learning to buy less and buy more carefully, which is helping. We ARE free to keep or throw away! The comments were also helpful, and I appreciated Christine's comment about hanging on to certain items that remind us of our connection to others. Once we keep something because we wish to and not because we feel obligated, we are more free to make a real home! And I read that that is of course your goal all along! So this ties in beautifully with your stated approach "...creating havens for ourselves and our loved ones...is important work."

riconsd Again love it but I have to pause at the sale thing. It can be done but you just do the big stuff and advertise early to create a dead line.

The china made me wince, but reading everyone's story got me to understanding.

And if a "pro" dumped my stuff without my permission they wouldn't be my pro any longer and I would sue them for theft.

Sharon Devoll This is such great timing. My partner recently passed away and I have the daunting task of sorting through things that his family has no interest in. We had combined two households and after 18 years the "stuff" is over whelming. My stuff, his stuff, our stuff, I am cleaning out and what I don't need or have not used in ten years is going away.

shelbybella @ Christine.. Wow... your words are almost exactly as what I myself could have written....; I have 3 daughters, two in their mid twenties and one that just turned twenty. The oldest one has a HUGE issue with the things I keep, and WHY I keep them. She calls almost everything' clutter'..which of course, it is not. The other two have a more compassionate understanding of mom and her nature to keep things that I feel are important. I also agree with your comment about what this society has become and the ' digital ' things ..It bothers me , just in the same way. I still hand write letters. I have a computer, but NOTHING is a replacement for a hand written letter... that your child or someone else can relate to in a way that is really a ' part' of the person that has written it.
It is saddening to me , that we have become a society that knows the price of the latest ' gadget/ phone/ laptop/ etc' ..but that places little value on the things that are, as you stated.. ' the thread that binds'...* sigh* and I attempt to hold onto all those things of ' value' to me... ; which is not to say that I dont have some modern conveniences.; I do have a few. But I am the ' dinosaur" that loves corded phones. Vintage anything... I even have a 1948 Kenmore Stove..whilst other people are gaga over Stainless Steel appliances. Not me. Give me something white and Vintage every time. I adore old china. I have a set. I I save momentos of things that are close to my heart. I also keep a journal..so that when I do leave this Earthly plane..I hope that in reading it that my daughters have a better understanding of Mom and will keep that journal, so that they can feel close to me when they need to....; you are spot on in your description of how this ' digital everything' is pushing the connection TO each other farther and farther away; I feel that as well. I see it... Its a sad thing , honestly...and lest anyone think I have a house full of junk and clutter.. : I am an organizer. I have been a Personal Housekeeper. When I would help someone ' organize'.. I DID NOT make them just toss things..( I shudder when I think of Peter Walsh, sometimes.lol ) We would discuss the object/ papers/ whatever it was; determine the best route for either saving/ donating/ passing on to a person that loved it.. you get the idea. I could NOT, in good conscience.. make people feel like I was MAKING THEM CHOOSE to do something that was not right for them !!! This is more successful( to me ) than taking that approach of " well, if you save THAT.. you MUST get rid of this..." RUBBISH. People are attached to things for reasons, and its up to THEM to figure out how much and why. THEN the process becomes easier .. to save/ get rid of/ donate/ pass on/ etc. Then THEY become better at keeping whats important to THEM. They can then determine from a certain point where their own boundaries lie. And the keeping becomes better, It becomes ' more selective' and it becomes organized and not overwhelming to them. Then its easier to maintain and keep things organized. To me, its about the ' lesson"..and not so much about ' "Throwing everything away" or " getting rid of things that are important".
Thank you Christine.. for your thoughts and your candor.. I believe a lot of people really DO agree and feel the same.. but alas, in this ' digital age' .. I often feel that we are also losing OURSELVES to ' popular opinion " and giving up what is important ( individually) for the sake of ' not being left behind'... or we dont want people to think " wow.. do you live in this Century ...?? ." ah well. I will keep my Vintage Stove and my corded French phone.)

nyladybug1950 When I bought my 85 year old house and am the second owner. The widow died here @ 99 years of age. She could not bear to get rid of some of her deceased husband's belongings. I am happy to be the proud owner of wonderful workshops in the basement and garage. I am one of those people who does not impulsively purge but I do purge. Her husband Tony could not get rid of things as he aged. I was only happy that Helen (the widow) was very selective in what she did offload. How to get men to purge? The only way I was ever able to do that was as a military wife . He did not like to pay the high price of "pounds over" our allotted household belongings when we moved. We purged cautiously and learned how to do it right.

shelbybella ..And I just read JAN MOYERS comment..; I am sorry, but have to say this : , ...If I were a client and you threw away MY stuff whilst I were away.. and that you deemed it perfectly acceptable to do so.. I WOULD FIRE YOU and I would be upset .That is NOT ok.. despite the ' minimal progress' you have made with the client....; Thats exactly WHY a lot of people ARE fearful of ' Organizers".. !!! And when someone says the two words " professional organizer"..people should not fear those words.. But its attitudes like the one you expressed that makes people NOT want to have an organizer.

Whitney F This was a very nice and thoughful idea book. Thank you.

rashjeh This is the best I have read so far on this site. It is obvious you have struck a chord with so many people, which is why there a re so many long and involved responses. I hope, however, that tomorrow when I wake up, I am tempted to declutter. That would be so completely perfect!

kgordonus Wonderful article!! I emailed it to my husband as well. He NEEDS to read it (especially #3 about the screw!). He saves everything.

Sierra Jones I don't agree with relying on digital storage. I had a girlfriend that had upwards of 500+ photos stored on a memory card which her nine year old son deleted by mistake. She lost every picture taken in the last two years, including the birth of her daughter.

Original copies are always best. We will never know which way technology may turn, or what devices may be used in the future. Just try to find a way to play a VHS.....now.
Files can be lost, deleted, anything can happen. If it means that much to you, nothing will make as much of an impact as the original document.

Showing my grandkids a letter from my husband thirty years from now will just not have the same value on a computer screen, even if you can still view it on there. A child's artwork? Will not even look the same, when scanned onto the computer. It completely removes all sentiment and meaning.

oldblackdog re reconsd and Shelbybella - re: an organizer who isn't working WITH a client but seems to have thrown out stuff when the client doesn't appear to have given permission. Yup, fired.

The idea of this "professional" service is to make that person happier in their home, not to make them comply with 1001 rules of order and acknowledge your superior organizational abilities and taste in decorating . The overall issue is - if you are at war with the person you are helping, you're not helping. I have had, by the way, to arrange cleanouts of hoarders whose home was going to be condemned - or whose children were removed - that was "war "- and they were faced with a clear consequences ( children in foster care, homeless or clean). Even then, I wouldn't be as disparaging of my clients. Cleanouts are not organizing. And "organizing' per se is not the core problem when it's at this level.

dg3356 Wow! This isn't what I expected, but definitely what I need. When I read the first couple sentences in an email, I immediately clicked to come to this link because I thought it was going to tell me the best way to organize old correspondence. I literally boxes and boxes of EVERY letter, card, etc., from anyone and everyone, from about 1980 until the present. Although the number of cards and notes have become much less over the past 15 years or so, I also (to the dismay of my family) print many emails and save them too. I've recently been trying to figure out a better system of saving all these cards and notes and hoped to find the answer here. If I can wrap my head around it all, I guess I did find the answer . . . DON'T SAVE IT. How can I do that though?

arcoirisito I third or fourth Flylady. Babysteps, it can take a year to get you there, but an uncluttered house unclutters your mind.

swryan This is a terrific article. First one I've bookmarked!

siouxxie We are in our 60s and the proud owners of years of love letters, mostly sent in the 70s when he was on a submarine. They are both lovely and, um, rather explicit, and I would die if my kids ever read them! However, we are not yet ready to part with them. But in our 60s, while still enjoying life to the fullest, we must reflect on the fact that this ride of life does not last forever.

So we have put them in a sealed box (we can open it and reseal anytime we wish) and the box is marked: things to go to aunt Linda. My sister will take possession of the box should anything happen to us, and destroy the letters. Her husband was on a carrier at the same time mine was on the sub so she "gets" this issue. My kids have no idea what's in it, and would never open it since it is destined for someone else.

I too see both sides of this issue. There's junk clutter, and there's meaningful clutter, and which is what will vary with the individual. My husband kept every check he ever wrote, going back to the 70s. We have moved more than a dozen times since then and those dang checks came along for the ride! Finally last year we bought a new house, and. Even tho tis bigger than our previous house, we decided. It was a great time to get rid of junk. And guess what? The checks finally made it into the shredder! Yay! Small Victories!

Lisa Tutino Have Superstorm Sandy, flood your home and you will realize what is really important. Throw out all the extra junk that you didn't need and will not ever need.

Alison Hodgson Sharon Devoll, sorting through things when you have just lost someone is so much more arduous. I hope you will take your time, get good help and be extra kind to yourself.

I'm so sorry for your loss and wish you the very best in going through everything.

Cathryn Lundberg Try flylady.net. And ladies, we lead by example for the guys. Declutter your own stuff and you might be surprised how inspirational that is for the rest of the family. Let go the perfectionism, do a little at a time, don't keep it if you don't love it or need it or use it, and declutter for yourself as your own gift to you. Nobody loves a martyr attitude.

Alison Hodgson dg 3356, I would never say you should get rid of your letters. I didn't get rid of my own! I kept these particular ones even though they depressed me. Cards and notes from later in our relationship and after we were married, I treasured and gladly kept. And then I lost them all in the fire. My point was it was interesting what I have missed and what I haven't given a second thought.

Regarding your collection?

Does it bring you joy?
Do you have the room to store everything?

You may consider purchasing some photo boxes or about that size if they don't make them anymore and sorting the letters into categories: each close family member could have their own box, and one for friends, one for acquaintances. Stack them neatly and if they're pretty, it could be a pleasing to look at and easy access.

I'm a writer, so letters and cards (more than just a signature!) were hard for me to part with. If this tells you anything, I had a small file with notes from junior high, but they were all organized and tucked in the larger box of all my childhood and pre-marriage mementoes.

Let us know what you come up with. I'm always interested in paper organization.

Angela Pascoe I came home last night to find my 22year old daughter who is always in her bedroom watching tv sitting in the living room watching tv with her friends. I was like what are you guys doing because it was a surprise. Her and her friend stated that the room was more inviting so they just chilling in here. I am still trying to process what that meant for me because it was huge. How funny it is that I find an article that is exacltly what you need and realize that I am not the only one. I actually called an interior designer because I knew that I would not be able to do it on my own. I am not finish but while waiting on her updates I decide to do just a few things that she suggested. There was two big speakers that was just taking up space. I had four stools and down size to two. I flipped my sofa and open up the room and remove all the things that was blocking the front door.

Alison Hodgson Oh Angela, that's what it's all about! I'm so happy for you. You're doing it, a little bit of the time and already making a huge difference. It's all about creating space to be with the ones we love. Keep a going!

And you are so not the only one! Thanks for the update.

Beth Cave Very well written! Thanks for helping me think through this. With a big family, clutter is always an issue. After cleaning out my parents' home following their deaths, I really want to keep a handle on how much stuff we store...

pollymno wow! did I need to read this at this time in my life!!! I am downsizing since my husband passed away 9/3/12 from a 3 bedroom to 1 bedroom casita. It is sooo hard to let go...but i still have the memories. I'm saving this for my daughter to read..she is building a new house and will be moving.. THANKS FOR SHARING.

Cindy You mention the conflict from doing what you know is right and what you should do, and for me this was my ah ha moment. My grandmothers dishes will now go to a good home, just not mine. Thank you

nyleta Fantastic to have all those things you know in the back of your mind put so plainly. Thanks for giving me permission to let it go!

gabbychris We've downsized. I find de-cluttering very liberating! My solution is to go paperless. All my bills are scanned on a monthly basis. When it came to mementos, I scanned them, too, and keep them all on the cloud (safe from fires and floods). Musical programmes, ticket stubs, special greeting cards, kids' drawings, I scanned them all. I used to tear out magazine articles and then never locate them again. Now I either snap a photo or scan it and file it on my Mac where I can find it.

What to do with a glowing letter of recommendation written in 1938 for my father? I scanned it along with other letters and certificates and gave the originals to my sister -- maybe subconsciously passing the buck on the decision to toss them? Unfortunately, she passed away last year and I got them all back. I've shared the scans with all of his grandchildren; but, don't want to burden them with the physical copy. They're safer scanned. (I know I'll let them go soon, but it's somehow harder the second time around.)

emeraldmist Rarely do I read the comments, but this is a universal subject I believe. I have much in common with the reponders. Daughters who nag you to get rid of it etc. My mother didn't save anything!!!!!!! I resent to this day that what she did with my beloved dolls, carriages, Millile the Model comic collection.....she tossed it! The day after I moved out of the house. Talk about a root of bitterness, I can't talk too calmly about it. It hurts to this day! Nothing for me to hand down to my 4 kids and 10 grandkids!
So now when a husband or daughter suggests I have 'junk' I need to get rid of....grrr. I am also a vintage connesisuir. And I don't collect things. I choose vintage over new any day! I value the items for the integrity and quality of who made it. And they made them to last!
I also realize that for me there is a difference in a 'hoarder' and a 'collector'. I have often purged my stash....purge being a scale that I define. But I tell them hey...when I'm dead you can do with it what you want cuz I won't care anymore.

angela_flute52689 Christine, the author never said there was anything wrong with keeping things you love. The point was getting rid of stuff you feel obligated to keep but don't actually want. Some people really do have a big problem with hoarding for various psychological reasons.

thedarlingsbecca I think the first step is to remove items that are not useful, but you don't want to part with. Lovingly pack them up. After a while, you may be surprised to find you CAN part with most or even all. I like giving relatives first pick. Is there a genealogist- type in the family?

thedarlingsbecca I like to keep a lot of memories through scrap booking. I also write short stories about events shown and print on acid- free card stock and add those. Sometimes I do the same for grand children's drawings and often their 'Christmas Lists'. They r now in their teens, still love making the lists and enjoy reading the old ones, misspellings and all! We now do the lists on a is-free card stock, saving the copying step.

yolandew Very sound and doable advice. Love the coment about a gift is yours to do with however you wish.

Lizabeth I grew up in a messy house with a Mother who was a hoarder. Our dining room table was only clean on three days a year, Christmas, Thanksgving and Easter. One could barely walk up the stairs to the second floor due to the piles of paper on each step. It was depressing.

When my mother finally sold that house and moved into the new condo of her dreams I came from 2500 miles away and helped with the packing. The dozens of boxes that kept her papers contained not love letter but recipes and ideas for a job she had not been employed in for over 40 years and were all obsolete were all stacked in the garage. I arranged all her furniture and told her that her stuff was in the garage and she could go though it at her leisure.

Initially she balked but within two weeks exclaimed how wonderful her life in the condo has been. She loved how clean and uncluttered it was and the dining room table was always able to host guests.

tt has been over five years and she has not opened one box from the garage. I will deal with it at her death.but I am fairly sure those old recipes and magazine articles are without historic value.

dg3356 Lizabeth, I'm sure my daughters would say the same of me, especially about the kitchen table (although my stairs at least are passable for now). Your comment is very helpful in motivating me to do something about all of my piles. Thank you.

bonlender1 My husband was a packrat. If I wanted to start a fight, all I had to do was bring up the fact that he had too much stuff and that just set him off. Then he died of cancer. I had a wonderful time selling most of his "man" stuff at a garage sale. Now these are things he hadn't used in over a decade, but he wouldn't get rid of them. I wasn't even sure what some of the stuff was and I had to ask my male neighbors (and they didn't know what some of the stuff was, either). I kept what I thought I would need--and let my dad and brother have dibs on whatever they wanted, but the garage sale was awesome. Women even commented on how their husbands would really like the stuff. I later told people that it was good that I did this after he died, because if I sold his "man" stuff when he was still alive it would have killed him.

Realistically, how much time do we spend agonizing 1 screw and if we're going to need it? Life is simply too short to spend time on some of this stuff.

Here's my tip on paper items. Make up a file and call it "Keep for awhile, then toss." When you come across ANYTHING paper-wise that you don't know if you should keep it or not, just put it in the file. After 3 or 6 or 9 months or a year, go through the file. There's some stuff I've had for over a year that's still in the file, but a with lot of it, the urge to buy it, do it, respond to it has passed, or the deadline is up--and I can just toss it and not give it a second thought.

When you finally do decide to get rid of something--especially if it's a bunch of somethings, it's just nice to get it out of your house. You feel lighter--like clutter has been removed from your mind.

graciousr I'm moving house at the moment and my mum happened to be over when I discovered a big box of clothes I hadn't even thought about for four years. As I went through them and put them in a bag for donations, she kept exclaiming "But they're so nice! You should keep them!". And although I did end up giving them away, I couldn't help but feel guilty in that moment.

wantsideas I agree with others that family should get first crack at sentimental and/or family heirlooms. You just never know who wants what until you ask. My older sister and I are in the process of de-cluttering but who knew the middle brother was the one that was the keeper of the history of things we might have tossed? (Military papers from our Dad). Never hurts to ask and no hard feelings later and then no guilt to do with the items as you wish. When my sister asked her son if he wanted his old blankets that she knitted for him for his new baby she was shocked that he did. Same with classic baby books that I had inscribed to him. His son is almost two and is using gently used items that are thirty years old every day!

donzi I love this article. It deal with an issue that I am always grappling with (moreso right now)- how to declutter and how to let go of "stuff."

ledavomleerburg SOOO glad to see someone else with the same 4 "reasons". I still have my mother's china sitting on the kitchen table because I told my sisters I was giving it away unless they wanted it. One sister said why don't you sell it. It is still not sold and other things have been given away. I'm only to the point I take everything off a shelf and only give half of it away. Even though when we evacuated for a hurricane, all I took was important papers and my amber jewelry collection started by my grandmother. I can't wait til I can part with it all. (but not by fire please)

JAN MOYER Shelby, oldblackdog,and the ladies in uproar.........
The "not needed accessory decor" has BEEN PREVIOUSLY DISCUSSED AS "BURDEN" .... so you can relax. The act of having to DO it paralyzes my client. So she said with regard to those...."DO AS YOU WILL, I DON'T WANT TO WATCH". And i will, though it will make only a medium dent in the real problem. Given the size of the the thread today, my guess is if many walked into their storage areas, and could magically make some of the unsentimental clutter get sorted from the real keepers and tossed, there may be some takers of that instant magic. No guilt, no decision, no agony over it cost 8.99, or "it could come in handy" , or " gee, they looked just like real irises until they faded like that and got covered with dust... mmmmm lets see... dumpster or donation? " Let's be honest, isn't that at least in part why this thread is the size it is today? I should point out my client came to that after seeing some of her favorite things in their best light in the portion of her home just completed...hence the permission slip on the other STUFF.. Her sticking point on the sentimental is something else entirely. So .....down I will go, and I will create an "entertaining closet" for her at the same time, and when she returns she will be as thrilled with that progress as she is on the rest thus far. I will probably find some other treasure she doesn't even remember, to use where she can see it and enjoy : )

lots2do insist on watching Hoarding, Buried Alive together.... ooomg should be the only comment you'll make..... it worked here.

jukesgrrl Reply to Christine

I understand completely the lovely sentiments you have about items with personal history and I share your concern that young people raised on electronics often lose touch with the story of their family's life. BUT ... That is not the clutter problem most Americans have.

When is the last time you bought a house? I've had circumstances in my life that caused me to move three times in six years. I looked at hundreds of homes in three different cities. In spite of all the talk you hear about "home staging," very few people do it. In house after house I've toured, the sheer amount of STUFF people owned often completely obscured sight of the structure. Who can tell if a home has adequate storage when the messages you get are "this home is a firetrap" and "this home has NO storage"?

Absolutely the hardest job I ever did in my entire life of earning multiple degrees and completing decades of a corporate career was moving my mother out of the house she and my father had built 50 years earlier. Mom HAD to move. She was completely unable to care for the property as well as the house due to illness and disabilities. Yet she was determined to stay there forever. Mainly because she didn't want to have to face dealing with three stories of possessions. She refused to cull her treasures herself, yet when I did if for her she stood over me whining and crying about every object. She owned 42 bud vases. That doesn't count full-sized vases. Does that give you a picture of what I was dealing with? And she was moving into an apartment. Yet, under no one's definition would my mother qualify as a hoarder. She was just a woman with a long life who imbued every inanimate object she owned with a charming story. And does she miss her objects now? I've asked her and get a sheepish, "Well, not really."

I also am the repository of heirlooms of family members long gone because I am perceived as the person who "appreciates nice things." Yes, people notice my nice things because I don't display that many of them and I do it carefully. I try and try to convince my nieces to help themselves to the beautiful sets of china, crystal, and silver that are stored in my garage. I beg at least once a year. Nobody wants them. I can't find anyplace to sell them either that would reimburse me fairly.

People SHOULD have objects to remind them of their families and their history. By all means digitize family photos, home movies and videos. Send copies to everyone in your extended family. I was moved to tears when a distant cousin recently gave me a single black and white snapshot of me as a toddler standing with my Dad in front of her parents' house. When a family member dies, try to make sure every person has something intimate to remind them of the deceased. Pass on a document, a favorite book, the family Bible, heirloom jewelry, a piece of artwork, recipes boxes, something in the person's handwriting, a vintage Christmas ornament. By all means, give them a beautiful vase. A vase, singular. Not 42 bud vases.

JAN MOYER You can beat on me: Is a flowery gravy boat buried in a cardboard box/yellow newspaper and almost totally forgotten, a "memory"? I think a true memory is something nobody can take from you, and needs no object at all to recall it. Your grandma's hilarious stories at Thanksgiving dinner, for instance. The gravy boat...is an incidental. Maybe photo it, frame it, use it as part of the center arrangement on the table! Let all tell a story about grandma! I am not a meanie. I just don't think our relatives and loved ones ever really mean to burden us with unmanageable quantities of their stuff. And to them.. were you able to ask them.... much of the stuff was probably just that. And they had the very same problem you are having. Just sayin.....could they have been as overwhelmed as you are? Mmmmmm something to ponder.

taureg You can donate up to $5,000 a year of properly valued goods to a non-profit thrift shop or charity and not get audited. You help the charity, get a tax deduction and you get rid of things you don't use without the hassle of selling them. I have been doing this for years and, while I am already someone who cleans out closets, it certainly motivates me to "make the yearly number," which equals an plane ticket. It is a way to reduce the guilt of heirlooms, shopping mistakes, etc. It can be done much faster than selling them.

As for digitizing - you have to back things up, and store a backup offsite. Period. That is as true of photos as it is of copies of your tax returns.

And if you are storing things for the next generation, are you storing them properly? If not, many tings will be destroyed by the acid in cardboard boxes or wooden drawers, the moisture in a plastic tub, etc. This is never part of the conversation but should be. When I decided to give my cousin's kids some of my grandmother's crocheting, I picked ONE piece for each of them. They didn't need a case of crochet - especially since so many had those brown stains that come from storing textiles against wood. And I will send to the, archival ly stored, so it will last some more generations.

gina200 This is a great article and so helpful to me as I'm really trying to get rid of stuff. My Mom is one who just can't throw things away if it might have a use somewhere... "but it's good stuff!" is what I hear all the time. So...I've taken so much stuff from her house that now just clutters up my house/basement. I have issues with how do I get rid of the craft supplies or a lot of the stuff that "we might need someday" - for girl scout projects, school projects or who knows what. In a fit of de-cluttering, I've thrown out stuff that later my husband says "where is the such and such" and I don't even remember if I've thrown it out or where it could be! I like an earlier poster got rid of high school journals in another fit of decluttering and letting go of the past and I still so regret that....

cathyfo This was some of the best and most-thoughtful advice I've seen in a long time. I just talked to my husband about getting rid of some of his mother's things, but he doesn't want to part with them. I'm going to show this to him! Thank you,,wonderfully written.

JAN MOYER dg3356
Two questions: Do you think the folks to whom you ever sent a card or note are saving those you sent them? Don't answer that, just think about it. Then... do you look at these, pull them out and savor them? If you do, the cards with a special note, save those. Just a hasty signature? OUT! The letters? Okay, bundle those and save. Possibly make a separate Christmas tree if that is appropriate for you, and decorate it ONLY with all the special Christmas cards/photos. Make a tiny hole punch...and HANG. Or you can do same with Hanukkah. Every year, you'd have a few week period to savor them, and add the one mailed in. But printing emails is a definite burden, and unless a legal necessity... maybe try to stop doing that, save ink too! Good luck to you!

emmajmom What a timely article as we are in the process of purging our 25 yrs worth of stuff. I am ready to live simpler. Thanks for the great advice!

mikesheashea Really, really honest. One of the best and most "ah ha!" reads I've had in a long time. Thank you for the motivation! :)

shelbybella llittlef21..... I too, had a mother who sewed. She sewed my school clothes ( I was in Parochial School)..she also sewed my street clothes.. And they were BEAUTIFUL. Those are gone, tragically...and I dont even have a single school picture of me in them, or anything...And how I wish I did. So I thought .." how fortunate that you do still have some of those'.. I would like to have had just even ONE, to have in remembrance of my mother. My mother is deceased and I have nothing of her, nothing of the life of when she was alive...( my sister took ALL the photos and all.. its a ' whole other thing' that is Dr. Phil worthy..lol ) so I can relate to your thoughts and feelings. Its also one of the reasons I keep certain things...so my children will have them when I leave this life on the Earthly Plane.
And @ emeraldmist.. I understand YOUR thoughts also. I am sorry you feel that pain and resentment...about things just being ' thrown out'.. and I have cautioned the oldest daughter about that., as she now has two young children. ....; I also SO appreciate your love of vintage...made me smile, reading your post.. and yes, that last line is so true... and it gave me a chuckle. I will inform my daughters thusly..." hey...when I'm dead you can do with it what you want cuz I won't care anymore.".. Jolly good. :) God Bless.

janabanana I did severe reduction on a small workroom, installed deep, off the floor shelves in an awkward nook, and put the large work table in the middle of the room.
As soon as it was cleared out and rearranged, I matted 2 large pictures on the cleared table. I wanted to mat these pictures for about 10 years. Now, I go to that room and just sit- it is so peaceful, yet full of energy for the future.

janderson728 What a great article, with some very accurate descriptions of various types of clutter collectors. Funny how you can read through it and almost shout, "That sounds just like _____ (you never insert your own name, of course.)!" The statement the author made about doing whatever pleases her with gifts that do not, got a "Hear! Hear!" from me.

Gifts that come from my husbands side of the family always have strings attached. I know this sounds awful, but my and my husband's taste in home decor differ greatly from my mother in law's. My husband and I have found that the strings attached to these gifts (which range from things purchased new, to passed down from granny, to acquired at an estate sale) are actually trip wires that trigger an emotional response of offense and displeasure in the giver, when said gift is exchanged, given away, or sold. I'm pretty sure the moment we decide what to do with the "gift" in question, her eye starts to twitch, even from across town.

Anywho, I'm sticking to my guns when it comes to doing what I please with things given to me. Otherwise, where is the pleasure in having a home of your own, if someone else gets to decorate it?

Just Your Style Well, I wrote a whole article responding to this, but Houzz doesn't let me search and retrieve, so let me just say; after my husband of nearly 50 years dyed suddenly, I was forced to sell and get rid of nearly everything we had. I have not been able to find the love letters he wrote to me, with the cards of special importance, and while my kids may not want those items, I was not and am not done with them and would give up just about what I have left to have them.
My mother was also a neat nick who got rid of our things before we were done with them, and my daughter in law is now the same. I think it is unfair to give away things which belong to others , even though they are little children.
Decluttering should have its limits.
Just Your Style

redproject Emeraldmist, I too, along with my sisters, could not forgive my mother for throwing away our childhood toys. Our European Uncle was a toy maker, and I saw our toys in a Toy Museum in Germany a few years ago.
When my mother passed away, I had great difficulty in letting go of her personal possessions, it felt like it was all I had left at the time. During grief counselling, my counsellor suggested i buy a beautiful box and keep in it the 10 things that gave me the strongest, fondest memories of my mother. Six years later, I can visit the box on her birthday, anniversaries and any time I want to visit with her. Her cardigan still has her smell! It was a great way of letting go and making me prioritise what was important. As an artist, I believe I am instinctively material, something I did not inherit from my dear mum.
Thanks for a great article Alison.

lijuin Alison, I like what you said about being in control of your home and not being subordinate to our possessions. I once came across a quote by a designer who said that the more things we own, the more time we need to maintain them. And time being a luxury of the 21st century, I'm certainly going to add de-cluttering to my 2013 resolutions.

nozyani i soooo needed to read this. I have birthday cards, letters, books and receipts which i take out to sort out but end up rearranging them instead

quiettimeinohio Great topic. I am a collector but struggling to reduce to what I can truly enjoy. As to deceased folks' items, for me memory boxes like the grief counselor suggested worked very well. I got pretty trunks and used for the saved letters, items, but limited to the size of the box or trunk. I think the key to this topic is balance and moderation-- choosing some best representative items in areas where total purge is too extreme. And then using those items decoratively to an extent. But for us creative visual sentimentals there will always be an element of striving! :)

JAN MOYER Before our newspaper shrunk to a nothingness, we used to have a space where people would write a tribute to a deceased loved one. It only appeared once a week, so you had to wait at least a year to get one in the paper.. When both of my parents died within seven weeks of one another, I wrote one on behalf of myself and two sisters. It ran, we all framed it and that and a few photos are what "remains" of them in my living room. It summed them up pretty well, and perhaps that is why every time I dust and pass it, I smile. I don't need much more. It is below to read or to skip : )
Ed and Ginny, Ginny and Ed. It is almost impossible to utter one without the other. Most tributes list a string of accomplishments, but if Ed and Ginny could speak, they would answer in unison only one: our family. They would say it was 54 years of marriage and truly happy lives. Dad was a salesman and traveled often while Mom held down the fort with three kids. They were a team in every way. Way back in the sixties, people did a lot less running around and weekends were for "good fun" like washing windows, maintaing the beautiful yard, or visits with grandparents. Unable to escape the "fun" you learned to love to clean! And Grammy told such great stories at dinner!
They were always a single voice. Asking Mom, "can I go?" only got you "go ask your father" A request to Dad, got you the same in reverse.
Never concerned with acquiring the newest, they saved everything. Dad could fix whatever was broken, and tweak anything to make it work. His way. Shaving polarized plugs to fit dated electrical outlets resulted in minor inconveniences. A swipe of the toaster with a damp rag could blow you into the adjacent dining room. " Remember!!! Unplug!!...then wipe!"
Ed was the mayor of the neighborhood, Ginny was a friend to all.They complimented each other in every way.They adored us, and loved the home they made together, but first, last, and always they loved each other best. They are together again, and for them, we are very happy. It is how it was meant to be.
Reading it again, just made me smile.... and I didn't have to dust. : )

Cori Holmes After disposing of all my late Mom's stuff, I know purging my own "stuff" is just what I need to do now. However, my husband still laments over the baseball collection his mother tossed 50 years ago. It's a challenge :-/

JAN MOYER Perhaps the most helpful mental de-clutter image is this: Picture your home empty. Picture the clutter, not in boxes or bins, but strewn piece by piece on the front lawn. Billions of little pieces of stuff. Now, one at a time, you must carry it in, and descend the stair to the basement to store it. WHAT would you carry into your basement, or closet, or garage.... or attic, or, or, or, ?!

cljakl I freely admit I am a hoarder. We are in the beginning stages of a whole home remodel and getting rid of stuff. I "rescued" my great aunt papers when my dad was going to throw everything in the trash. I found a a small scroll diploma from 1914 in the papers that belonged to my great uncle's family (not related to ours). I posted a notice on one of the geanological web sites and made some one VERY happy as she had been searching for info on people named one the scroll, I sent it to her after scanning onto the site (several people were interested after I had already agreed to send to her). I also sent a package of papers, pictures to an elderly lady from the same family; some she had, but there were pictures of her family she had never seen. My son on the other hand is saying "Mom, why did you save this?" I have letters written from my great grandfather to my great grandmother from when he was serving in WW One!! My family donated my grandfather's WW 1 air core uniform (including gas mask, field kit) to the Air Force museum...it is one of the only one in existence with patches, etc. I guess what I am saying is, be careful what is destroyed, thrown away...history may be lost.

patricia beharry To the paperless people ( of which I am not one ) I bet your computers are cluttered.

snyggt Thank you,I'm going to take your advise

maddecorator I see several defensive comments here from people who seem to believe they are being asked to declutter against their will. I don't think that was the intent of this article or any other. These are suggestions for people who WANT to streamline their lives and stop being slaves to their stuff, much of which they have saved because they were pressured to do so by others. It reminds me of people who complain that Martha Stewart is making them look bad because they aren't gourmet cooks or great gardeners or crafty, or whatever. No one is forcing you to do anything you don't want to do. If it's not your thing, DON'T DO IT.

catgiste Thank you for this timely article. My mother passed away a few months ago and I brought boxes of sentimental items and family heirlooms home with me. I was struggling with the dilemma of where to put all this stuff, when the helpful dilemma is really what to keep, donate or toss.

Sierra Jones The comments about the screws are too funny.
We have one drawer in the kitchen where I keep spare 'parts'. Screws, nails, random found objects with no home. Every so often I go through and think, 'ok if I haven't needed this, I will get rid of it now'.
Would you believe as soon as I throw out the thing, within a day or two after, my husband will come looking for it, or even myself at times.

And this is not the case, one time. We are talking, this has happened so many times, my husband doesn't even laugh anymore....

I still do. LOL

malicorne101 so true! I keep so many things because they might be someday: useful..... valuable .... a must for my children > I am a product of my time.... we didn't throw thingds away. Tiime for a change!

Building Blocks oh, alison, this was sooooooooooo informative! Ha, I never would have thought of any of this without you

applelily12 All of your comments have really been a day brightener. So funny, some of your tales.

This is a follow up to what I wrote earlier. After being left a widow in 2007, I am now rattling aroun in this 9 room house plus garage. I have decided to sell and downsize since children are grown and on their own, living scattered across the U.S. I am getting rid of more excess, this time inside the house. I have found a nifty house, but have to sell mine first. Bad time, but maybe, the Lord willing, it will sell.

I laughed out loud at the lady who had the fabric. That is a total weakness of mine, it's that one.
I make quilts and have a fabric stash you wouldn't believe, which I keep organized by color combnations and in a plastic boxes with snap on lids. I have a hard time staying away from fabric stores when they have sales flyers. I am totally addicted.
I told my oldst daughter who is the executor of my will, that after I die, just put the boxes on the lawn with a sign that reads " free to any quilter who is an addict to buying fabric".

However I am hoping to have it all made into quilts before then, the bad thing is, for every quilt I make, I simply buy more fabric to fill the boxes. Lol....

Y'all have a good day, and thanks for the laughs.

Sharon Denney Nuts and bolts, definitely chunk 'em. Correspondence? definitely keep. I agree with another commenter that pointed out the historical significance of such items. In fact, the start of this article confused me -- why did you want to smother your teenage self? I wondered if you were still married to your husband? are you? Letters are treasures. I have a box of all the notes and cards I received while in college. No 20-year old today has such a box.

elisha312 This was a very good article with many excellent points and hurdles I've come across in my own effort to declutter and also to go through a deceased parent's home and belongings.

emeraldmist Beauty and value are in the eye of the beholder. Respect for the individual is also at play here. My husband who considers my 'stuff' junk still respects my reasons for owning it. We keep our mutual living area's clear of it. I have the luxury of being able to have a huge shop/studio to store it all. Everything I have has a future use for a piece of artwork or perhaps for the sentimental or intrinsic value of it. I want to be able to 'see' all my supplies so that when I am creating a piece of art it is all around me for inspiration. Many of my things also are future listings in my Etsy shop, which is how I earn money for my art supples etc.
I get a viseral feeling about rusty, dusty or musty stuff because it may be the perfect book, old photo or complete a dish collection etc. Listening to what you all have to 'free' your space would be more than welcome to be sent to me. Please send your junk to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd love a go at it. My favorite place is an unvistited forgotten attic! Oh, the treasures! I am drawn to the vintage for one because of the hands that once used it. My imagination conjures up the life it had, who used it, what memories it holds. It's intoxicating! I make no excuses for my love of these things.
Hoarders are certainly not what I am talking about. Not being able to walk through your home or see your dining table....that would be a problem without a doubt. And they may need some form of professional help to lighten their load. But I do not judge them for it. That happens one day at a time not overnight. If you're living with filth and squaler......that's is a whole other topic.
Bopp Decker rules! ; )

thegreenbee Great topic. I have a few family items that mean a lot to me, but I have also been given my fair share of random items that seem like the family member was passing them on to aleiviate the guilt they themselves had over getting rid of them. My mother is particularly bad about that! We tell her we are having a yardsale because we need more room and she still sends random what-not to us or tries to send things home when we visit! A lot of it is ephemeral, too- like anyone needs more paper clutter! (I often wonder if my sister in law gets the same treatment!)

mona1964 Really nice article --the amount of stuff to have around you is quite personal-- i like to do a 'check in ' excercise and with a extreame mimimalist place=cue everything white with rooms with 2 peices of furniture in it-- i get a bit titchy but when im in a room with bookcases from floor to ceiling with thousands of books or when there is mess, or clutter or you start thinking is this on its way to becoming hoarding--well that also makes me feel strangly anxious; almost a bit claustiphobic. So checking in is always good for me --one newspaper in the lounge--nice, several days not nice feeling! I like getting into habit wehre every month i take at least 2 bags of stuff to good will; whereas a friend puts it all in her attice, on the off chance her young daughters future kids--talking about 10-20 years down the track here, just might find very average clothes exciting, etc

JAN MOYER The only question is: Does what you keep make you happy? If it is a pile of useless and unnecessary receipts, and it makes you feel better, or much safer to know you have them, and you have a place to keep them, and they aren't bothering you, and are not a hazard for fire....fine! But if your "clutter", (whatever that clutter may be) is a source of ongoing anxiety, a source of tension, a continual annoyance, a burden in any way, then that is another thing. What is trash to one, is treasure to another. But treasure doesn't generally get buried in a box, it's a thing you want to see, and let others see. So some folk will save trash, and others will save treasure. Don't make yourself crazy over it. But.Think of all the unburdened vacations where you have none of the stuff.... kind of nice. Or not ? Most importantly, we come into the world empty handed and naked as jaybirds...and that is pretty much how we go out. Along the way is all the stuff, and maybe our legacies are better served by what we did, who we were, what we contributed in happiness to others, than by what we SAVED. But I could of course be "dead" wrong : )

evaf I agree with the basic message of the subject matter and I am not a pack rat, by all means. The problem I have is not what I want to let go of but how I recycle best the things I have. There are a lot of folks who could use what I can't and things that could be repurposed if only there was an easy or appropriate way to do this. I am too busy to deal with ebay or with the local second hand store but do not want to ditch it into the trash bin. The result is that the things I would like to let go of are still sitting in the shelves in the basement.
Any suggestions?

susanabc Do you have Freecycle in your town? Go on www.freecycle.org to find out. Really simple to register and to post online. You can offer just about anything and someone will want it. They come to your house to pick it up, although admittedly they don't always show up on time. I have given away bedding, miscellaneous kitchen utensils, books, old TVs, a golf umbrella, leftover building supplies, broken computers, and houseplants. Most of it was stuff Goodwill wouldn't have accepted.

Just Your Style I am going to add another comment, because the whole idea of throwing everything away that you don't use everyday, every week, or every month, still bothers me as I read this site.

1.. I have always built a classic wardrobe for myself, and am having maybe my last laugh, as grey and burgundy are back. I never buy anything I don't love, and guess what, my stuff is prettier, and certainly made better. I get compliments everywhere I go in my repurposed 80's burgundy, loose but beautifully woven sweater, with my tailored size 6 - 8 (who knows, they keep changing the sizes) grey pants. Along with my tribal jewelry collected from everywhere , but all handmade, not one person knows I didn't just get the outfit from Bloomingdales.

2. There is a difference between hoarders and marketers.
When I see a beautiful item, know where came from, what it is, and what it can be used for, if I can, I buy (at a good price). I have been able to furnish our homes with high end items by selling and trading. Yes, the garage is full, but frequently, it is empty. I like it full. And, yes, my car is in the garage, not on the street.

When I go to a new clients' home, the second thing we do is go through all the "stuff" they have jammed into drawers, etc. Often, there are items which can be framed or put into albums, given to relatives who want them, or, even, if altered by painting, for instance, and can then fit perfectly into the client's home, and , grandma's piece fits perfectly.

You certainly have to know what you are about while you are buying, but we never could have afforded the beautiful homes and furnished them as well, if I had not known to do this.

Again, I do not believe you should keep every goofy thing that arrives in your home, but, if YOU don't think t's goofy, and IF, it reminds you happily of Uncle Ed, you should have it.

calkelley In 1995, my husband, teenage daughter and I moved back to the States after living in France for a year. I remember sitting at the airport in a café eating our last French pastries. When we got to the gate, I couldn't find the bag of film rolls we had taken from the last 5 months or so - we're talking like 25 or more rolls. We searched and searched and couldn't find it. Sitting on the plane, we talked and really thought about what was meaningful living there. It wasn't the pictures - it was the shared memories.

Sometimes we get so caught up in taking pictures we don't appreciate what's going on around - and then we stick the photos in whole storage carts or on so many CD's. Huge storage issues. I've seen people with five 6-drawer carts of photo's.

Remember film? You couldn't edit - you got the whole roll back, warts and all.
I now do a lot of editing and get rid of shots that don't seem necessary. I don't mean the ones where the kids are all sticking their tongues out at mom, but the blurry, the ones that don't capture anything meaningful of fun or silliness. Lots less photos, easier to put on a CD in a computer to have a slideshow loop background. So they don't get hidden away because it's too much, there are too many to work thru.

btw, found the film rolls in a bag my husband had insisted he looked thru and there were some amazing photos! But still learned that the lesson is it's better to carry memories and be in the moment than looking at life thru a camera eye for pics that end up just accruing.

donnahatton To Jan Moyer..... loved your comments re clutter! I saved only two of all these interesting
responses and guess whose they were? Yours! Well written, to the point and very
helpful as we'll be moving this year and going though all of the above mentioned
scenarios of all those who took time to comment. Oh.... to be a beautiful bird in flight
with no earthly baggage.

JAN MOYER @donnahatton,
I wish you the very best in your new home along with the peace and serenity that come with having not one scrap more than you choose to savor, maintain and enjoy! It is odd how interior design is ALWAYS a process of editing and choosing. To get any one thing most always means leaving another thing behind. If this table, not that one. If this chair, not the other over there... clients can always cope with that concept. But when it comes to the rest ...THE LAND OF BURIED TREASURE, be that a stuffed linen closet, a tortured basement, a garage that cannot be navigated, all hell breaks loose! When I see them open and shut the door with "ugh!! I can't stand to go down there, it's too scary!!!" or OH NO!! Don't look in my linen closet, it's a disaster zone" , or in snow... "oh, sorry, I would have let you in through the garage but you can't walk in there...." you get the idea. They all want it gone, but the process is just too daunting. The most brutal of the truths is that this isn't Uncle anybody's treasure. It isn't love letters. It isn't even grammy's china gravy boat. It is crap. Tons of it, the result of a society which buys too much stuff, because stuff abounds. Cute stuff, cheap stuff, useless stuff. Too many gifts, too many afternoons browsing. Too much decor for every possible holiday, too much and too many of every article of clothing one can imagine. Even if it all were great stuff, it would still be more than could be used, enjoyed, or fully appreciated.
I am always stunned that when you finally get it GONE....lugging it to the curb or wherever... the result is nothing less than total gratitude. Tears of joy in many cases. In all these twenty plus years, not one client has ever called to say "I could just strangle you for making me toss that teeny little basket of fake ivy, that faded 19.99 picture, or the wobbly lamp with the yellowed and cracked shade"' Not one. Maybe they just like that freeing feeling! . I wish you "wings".

Building Blocks applelily, I hope and pray the Lord leads you into new and better pasture :) The boxes of quilting fabric reminds me of a shelf I made for my sister in law who also quilts. I made some little cubicles/cubbies for storing fabric -- about 72 of them if i remember correctly into a shelf system that goes floor to ceiling but is only 2 feet wide. I wish I had a picture of it.

applelily12 Building Blocks...thank you for the kind thoughts. It is much appreciated

Katherine Nannizzi I love this article. You have nailed all of my excuses.

JAN MOYER Katherine Nannizzi
Kudos Katherine for saying that oh so scary nobody wants to mention it , its not gentle enough, there is always a reason to keep something or put it off or whatever word which applies ninety percent of the time.. the E!!! word... Excuses: ) And we all have them for some area of life. Uh oh..... duck for cover, here it comes, gonna get blasted now!! : )

tstp Great article! This article is timely for me. The lesson I have learnt from it is that you can hold on to something for a lifetime for any of the reasons in the article and then lose it in a moment.

busylizzy A couple of weeks ago I plunged into the overwhelming task of ruthlessly editing all the fabrics and other assorted sewing stuff that I have accumulated over many years. While doing this I encountered a custom-made dress form that I'd really like to use but hadn't yet figured out how to make a functional stand for it. In the next room there was a decrepit old container of nails, screws, misc. hardware that my husband had dragged along with every move (something might be useful!) - this was after it had been bequeathed to him upon our marriage by his father! Since my husband's passing 4 years ago I had gradually, thanks to Freecycle, cleared out most of the tools and unidentifiable objects that had been dumped at one end of the basement during our last move, but I had some difficulty knowing what to do with that disgusting container that had been the butt of family jokes for over 50 years! Somehow it spoke to me and our kids about their Dad and Grandpa. Last weekend my daughter and I fixed an old broom handle to the dress form, propped it up in a large pail, poured all those rusty bits & pieces around it to prop it into an upright position and then proceeded to pour Plaster of Paris to fill the pail. Now I have a sturdy base & lovely usable dress form (for all that fabric I am going to sew) and my daughter knows where Dad's basket of stuff is buried. When the word spreads, I think it will become 1 more chapter in the fond and funny memories we have.

Sierra Jones What a beautiful story, busylizzy!
So creative and original. A great use for 'useless' items, and a fond memory of your husband every time you see the pail. Inspiring!

Dennis Hartford Allson, I read your bio. My most fervent prayer is that some wacko would please burn this house down. The only thing to be left standing is the foundation!

sharpmama Funny how so many of the buy/sell/fix/remodel shows on TV feature families whose houses are overrun with their stuff, their imminent move or renovation aiming to create the needed space and places. The toddler's toys are strewn about the living room; the floor and beds of the boy's shared room is covered with balls, bats and backpacks; and down the stairs, the basement is filled with boxes, bags, cartons and more, with no attempt at organization . . .

Of course these shows are just that: shows.That said, I don't doubt that this happens in real life.

jeannemarievdw I have discovered the perfect way to declutter: emigrate! - and make sure you - not your company - is paying for every square cm of container that you use. It all soon adds up and gets you thinking hard about what you really need or want. Emigrate more than once and you're cured for life!

patricia beharry emigrating did not help. I shipped the garbage with me, literally. I told the packers to pack everything, when I unpacked, the garbage including the empty beer cans, were packed. Now my stuff crossed an ocean, to the tune of $27,000. of which I am still paying, and now I am decluttering. STUPID,STUPID,STUPID.

JAN MOYER sharpmama
And you would be soooooooo right!!!!! Yes those are tv shows.... but life today in so many suburban homes borders on a chaos combined with clutter, that you can not even comprehend. Much of it is due to sheer volumes of stuff, and it afflicts those in every size home, and at every income level. I have been paddled on this site more times than I can count for the truth of what is out there, for the truth in how to cure it. How did it happen? Well despite a limping economy, we have goods that are far cheaper as a percent to total disposable income, than at any point in American history. You used to get a box of crayons and a couple coloring books and a bike. Today...bucket and buckets of colored markers, thousands of dvd's. You used to go to the library...now a billion books are at the disposal in cute kids areas of Barnes and Noble. Mom, Dad, and all the kids have forty to 100 pair of shoes and sneakers and flip flops....used to be you had school, play, and Sunday dress. So......... along with the average square footage of homes, and prosperity, came this GIGANTIC influx of stuff. But our brains are the same size, and our lives are busier.....do the math huh? It is a zoo out there. Doing design for a living makes one realize a whole lot of folks are drowning in a pile of their own making. No money left for the new sofa either....

pauli12 Jan, I love the "do the math.. our brains are the same size and our lives are busier.

I wasn't able to get organized until I retired. I didn't have the time or energy. I think at a certain age it gets easier to realize that, the moth eaten letter from my cheerleader uniform isn't anything I want to display and no one else would enjoy it either. I have finally given myself permission t live in the now and not for "later" when I might need this or that.
Thank you for all of your help in this.

Aprilis Really great article since that has been a rub between my husband and me for years. I am a pack-rat and most of it has to do with sentimentality. Now that I can "understand" what lies at the base of my feelings, perhaps I can say goodbye to things that clutter my life. Thank you.

callisondesigner When my farmer/husband died unexpectedly 17 years ago, the first order was auctioning the farm equipment. The emotions of my change in livelihood was strong. Then, another auction 6 years later when my youngest and I moved into an apartment, since the other 3 had graduated from high school and moved on. The third auction when I moved into a 500 square foot condo. Adapting to less was not easy, but has freed me to focus on what is important: family, friends and God! I still hang on to mementos, but only if useful and no painful memories. We really don't need all the stuff manufactures present to consumers "to make life easier".

Donna Forbis In reading some of the comments, one thing that you said, Allison, struck me - the comment about keeping things with your children's handwriting. With my two older boys, I felt compelled to keep school papers, etc. from when they were younger, but now have boxes of papers I just don't know what to do with, so they sit in the box. With my younger son, I have been scanning those school papers that I think I may want to revisit someday. Once the original is scanned, I feel no guilt at throwing it away, and the scanned copies are backed up to a separate system outside my home (along with family photos & such) so that if anything would ever happen to my computer or our home, I would still have digital copies of all these things.

Trying to "purge" the "stuff" from our home seems to be a constant battle, but every time I let something go, I feel SO much better, and if I can find a way to keep it AND throw it away, then I can avoid some of those feelings you were talking about. Thanks for a great article!

Kim McCullars @siouxxie, My mom and dad had many years of love letters too. I was hoping I would get them at some point, because I am working on the family history. I have a feeling they were probably a bit too personal to pass on, so when my mother passed away my dad shred all the letters that he wrote to her and put them in a capsule surrounding her (she was given to medical research and they sent us back her ashes. The ashes/small urn were placed into the capsule my Dad made). My dad gave me specific instructions to do the same with him when the appropriate time arrives...he already has her letters shredded. I thought this was a sweet idea....surrounding each other in their young love from the beginning of their relationship. Kind of romantic!

pauli12 The day before my grandmother passed away while sitting reading her Bible, she went outside and burned all the love letters my grandfather and she had written each other.
I think this is romantic too.

JAN MOYER I keep checking back on the thread... so I will add. Winter will end. The spring solstice in the northern hemisphere, begins with the vernal equinox at 7:02 A.M. (EDT) on March 20, 2013 !! Soon! How do you want your home to feel on that day? Free of clutter? Windows sparkling? Clean and fresh, with sun dried sheets? Okay!! Now go back, read all this thread and ask... while all the emotion is indeed lovely, sentimental, kind, thoughtful, some are tragic and yes, extremely sad and equally poignant. But life, and its force are for the living. You are among the living. Spring comes, no matter who has passed. That is both sad, and equally beautiful.Think about that, acknowledge the emotion, and ask... do I want life to go forward? Am I allowed a bright and sunny, clean space that welcomes me and my family? Or do I want to remain in place, buried in "treasure". Either way it is fine, as long as you are HAPPY, and content in your personal space. But another Spring will come again, and the only question is how would you like it to begin, in your home? You don't need to lose the love, or the emotion, to lose any amount of the stuff you may choose to lose. it is worth thinking about. You have the right to your own idea of beauty. Clutter, no clutter, or whatever level of clutter. Free yourself. But do it. Happy Spring, and soon. : )

1948baby Category# 4 is my downfall. I have a few things that were expensive but just don't work in my home. I have lived with them for a couple of years and thought my only alternative would be to sell them. I have no children and live several hundred miles away from my family. The idea that I should give away expensive items to non-family never occurred to me. I'd be interested in what others in my position have done with expensive items.

JAN MOYER 1948 BABY
Forgive yourself the mistake, and find a consignment furniture shop in your area and settle for a half of what THEY sell it for, or put the items on Craigs list yourself, Or on E Bay, or see if a friend can use/pay an appropriate half price deal for whatever piece they may like. But do not be a slave to what was a mistake, and continue to punish yourself. In other words... you goofed, you won't get the $$$ back to 100%, and move on. It's the only way. Other than staring at the "mistake" for another few years: ) In the future, get design help, and prevent "mistakes", maybe. But moving on is key.

becky1224 Love this article as I have always been an "organizer" and as I have recently retired am on a mission to minimize my stuff. To me, your statement, "It wasn’t that I didn’t know what I wanted to do, it was that what I wished to do conflicted with what I thought I should." sums it all up. It is those voices of relatives and others that keep us from doing what we want. Thank you for making this clear for me.

snyggt I don't think you should throw away everything that you don't use, but to pay money for storage units, because you keep saving a bunch of stuff is crazy. Then you should start looking to se if your stuff is worth the money you pay every month. We have two units, because we don't have room at home. What do I have there? saved items from my youngest daughter, diffrent knick-knaks that I can change my house with when I redecorate, and a lot of materials and I don't quilt. Things I have gotten from family and friends that doesent match my home, but are sentimental, because I got it from them, so what do I do? I keep paying $150/month. I just don't know what to get rid off.

JAN MOYER snyggt,
Maybe it is me, but for 150.00 x 12 months..you can buy 1800 bucks worth of fresh kinick knacks/ pillows every year. This is AFTER TAX MONEY. So.... it is really your tax rate PLUS, meaning more than 1800.00 dollars. Or it is a savings to an IRA for the long haul of life! Does this make sense to do? Stuff from your youngest daughter? Stuff you don't want to use in your home? Fabric... and you haven"t and won't use it?
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ I think we do a thing when the thing makes no sense, and then we keep doing it, and what we need to do is stop doing it. Maybe?

pauli12 Jan, I like what you said about spring coming. How do we want it to be for us when it gets here.
One of my new favorite quotes fits in here somewhere, perfectly. It reads:

"Don't look back...... you're not going that way."

gschneider "Life, like art, is all about removing and editing to make room for what you truly want and need."

Thanks for this valuable reminder!

malicorne101 wow! my feelings exactly! I say it a bit differently ;l" we all go the same way, it's better to go there singing than crying. I could now add: don't overburden youself with unnecessary baggage, you'll have to leave it at the door!

Formed Solutions Great article! Very well written! And thanks for sharing "the rest of the story."

b33thoven This resonates with our experiences of having gone through a major flood . We lost truck loads of things . I cried buckets but two years down the track I know I am secretly relieved that many things went without me having to make the difficult decision to get rid of them .
I have been cured of my inability to throw away books , craft supplies , memorabilia i.e. program notes and tickets from long past concerts ... One very substantial but unfinished craft project that hadn't seen the light of day since the children arrived i was very upset about losing in the flood . A very wise friend asked me if I had a photo of me working on it .I did indeed . Then she asked if I had enjoyed the process of creating this piece . That I did . '' So then all you really need is the memory of that time no flood can wash that away ". We now when deciding whether to keep something ask ourselves would we bother to try and salvage this article in the event of another flood .Very few things pass this criteria these days !

JAN MOYER There's a reason we don't remember every detail of every day in our lives. We aren't supposed to. There has to be room in our brains to savor the newer memories and the moments of now,... or our "hard drives" would reject them!! We retain the most vivid, or important or meaningful, and our brains delete and empty the "trash". As it should be perhaps in our HOMES. Live in the moment. Save/savor the very best of them. More are coming.

Pepper Cee These are definitely some of the reasons why most renters can't let go of their stuff. I suggest they divide them- heirlooms, gifts, and expensive things. From there, they should sort through it wisely. I suggest keep things that mean the most. As for expensive things, you can always make a profit from them. Heirlooms should have good memories and gifts should have practical purposes. This is how I sort my things at my phoenix az apartments

ltaxenroth Loved this article so much, I clicked on your blog and LOVED that too!!!!

Wendy Percival Such great advice...We are in the midst of downsizing my Mother-in-law...a second time within 6 months as well as have some of my Mom's things in our basement (they are both in retirement homes)...between sentimental value and their experiences living through The Depression, multiplies this problem...it is worse when you know they will ask you to bring something from all these boxes or you have already donated the item....awww...LOL!

Traci I absolutely hate selling anything I own, no matter how much I paid for it. I'd rather eat my own liver than have a garage sale. There is something really nice about donating clothing, furniture, etc. knowing that someone will be able to use it (and I won't have to look at it again). I also don't want to mess with tax receipts because I know that by the time I need them, I won't be able to find them. I'm looking forward to convincing myself that all the tips in this article were written specifically for me. My goal is to rid myself of all non-essentials by the end of March.
Excellent article. So sorry about your home, but how wonderful that you all came away unharmed.

Lori Thoreson Thanks so very much! A book on this would be a best seller with all the comments and your input as well! I too am working on de cluttering.....This is great motivation!!

emeraldmist tmparsley you cracked me up with your liver eating comment! I loved this article and now I know: I AM NOT ALONE anymore! And I'm still willing to accept all your unwanted junk!

Marty Perz I sense from the comments below that much of the clutter issues circle around one spouse being bothered by clutter while the other is not. Suggestions?

Alison Hodgson tmparsley, that made me laugh and I so get it.

emeraldmist, you are so not alone, as comment after comment should prove.

Lori Thoreson, thanks so much.

Marty Perz, I'm going to be addressing that in some future posts. I know some others have said the best idea is to focus on your own stuff first, but that doesn't help if the spouse in question is already tidy. In general, my husband and I have found that making requests, clearly and with a loving and respectful tone, is helpful regardless of the issue at hand.

decherieamour Amen Marty Perez!!

sharon green i love how concise this article is...de cluttering can be overwhelming.

Patti building a house, we are going to have a auction, not going to bring anything to the new house that does not have a perfect space for it...ya right! this is going to be hard, my husband and myself keep all sort of junk that we should just get rid of, but of course parents that are deceased...there stuff also. what to do with all the pictures they took over there life span? most are not of family..over seas pictures of people we dont know.

mvanostrand Thank you so much for reading my mind, helping me to organize IT to organize and declutter our home. This was written for me, but how nice others must feel the same way !

Act Three Designs LOVE this! Thank you so much for a very well written article that is both helpful and proves some good points. Just lost my dad to a heart attack last year and luckily in many ways,the house I grew up in that he lived in the past 25+ years is across the country from where I live currently and the house is not mine and will foreclose. Though I'm sure if I went there to discover lost and forgotten childhood treasures, I would think I 'needed' them because it's what I'm supposed to feel. But, in actuality, I know how memories are NOT determined by THINGS. Definitely a great message you portrayed to not let clutter and THINGS control your environment and ultimately control you and weigh you down. Never been more free when I have just enough to balance need with beauty, without burying myself in useless clutter.
Thank you!

fanofthemortalsins take a few Redi Shades, paper avb at Amazon.com and cover those books. they are removable from everything and about 32.00 for 6

Angela Pascoe All I did was moved stuff around and put in drawers. What a difference a day makes.

http://www.houzz.com/discussions/375677/In-trying-to-de-clutter-my-kitchen-top

sheila017 You may have finally inspired me to purge all the things I should. Your comments hit every excuse I use and I especially like the feeling of freedom that will be the reward. I had to laugh at the 'I may need this' excuse as I have boxes of unknown bits and pieces "that must belong to ?? and i might need it". Thanks for the push!

Renee Pratta I also met my husband when we were teenagers. I too kept letters, mementos and a plethora of art from my six children! However, when my leather bound wedding album was falling apart after 40 years of marriage and I was tired of moving the pieces from house to house, because we move every one to two years to a new State and project for my husbands job, I took on the task of scanning the many mementos that only I and my husband appreciated.

With the innovation of the "cloud computing" our memories now float from house to house, without the added moving costs. Now, my husband and I watch our old memories, as well as new from our grand-children, as we listen to our 60's and 70's music on our Apple TV....

becky1224 Renee Pratta, this is something I am "working up to" as I am recently retired and trying to catch up for the last 40 years! I don't know if it's appropriate here, but would love to know how exactly you did this. I have a friend who sorted photos, purged, bought a scanner and scanned the remainder. Was that your process? Any tips would be appreciated!
Thank you.
Becky

Renee Pratta becky1224, Yes that is pretty much how I did it... Sometimes, if the scanner is not large enough, I take a picture of the object... For instance whenever we have a few days off we visit our children instead of our primary residence, so we decided to rent our home. I sent photos of my furniture and collectibles to my children and said this was their chance to get their inheritance :)... They divvied up the stuff they wanted and I had an estate sale for the rest! I win in the end. I took photos of what I loved (the wall of fame with my kids graduation photos) and get to see many of objects I enjoyed in their homes!

Oh, and now I live with easy to move or cheap to replace IKEA furniture, trendy Target or thrift store finds so I never feel guilty about redecorating on a whim! This year my color scheme is Red, Yellow, Orange because of the Playbills that I saved and am finally displaying on the wall... but NOW I have a great photo of all those Playbills so they may be tossed when I'm tired of that look!

Traci I have three kids (ages 11, 13, and 24). Knowing that I couldn't keep all of their preschool artwork without having to rent a storage building, I narrowed down the "keeper" items to anything with a hand print. It's like a tiny part of them. Now that I have a surly tween daughter who can be very dramatic on paper (expressing her overall displeasure with mom's parenting skills at times). I will probably start holding on to those little treasures too. Just a little something to remind her what she was like when she has a surly tween of her own.

becky1224 Renee Pratta, thank you for sharing your photos and your methods! I especially like the idea of photos of the family "heirlooms" that I want to unload to relatives!

lauraweick Best article on decluttering I've read. Concise and helpful. Thank you! An experience that helped me: we put down new wood floor on the first floor of our former home. That entailed packing EVERYTHING up in boxes and moving items upstairs or out of the house. Since we did all the work ourselves, this project took awhile. By the time it was done and I decorated the first floor the way I wanted, I forgot about all the stuff in the boxes. We ended up giving most of it away-I realized if I had lived without it for 6 months-a year and didn't want it, I never would. Now I have more courage. Good luck everyone!

ethelstevens53 That's a great article. I am moving to a very small 14'x70' mobile home. I have so many sentimential things, plus trying to go through my mother's hoarded house is just too overwhelming. Help! What do I do?

secondchildcath I am in the middle of de-cluttering myself, and this article came just in the nick of time! Thank you......I truly understand your thoughts and they will help me to let go of things and hopefully not look back! Excuse me now.....while I go get another trash bag!!

javasmoothie2 I understand the need for decluttering. I have moved way more times than I care to admit. And with each move we purged. If it couldn't fit on the truck it didn't go. With a family of 7 that's a lot of stuff. We were without home for over a year, living with my sister and brother-in-law, you learn very quickly what is of value to you. But, and I say this with grief still fresh. My father just passed away three weeks ago, and my mother has the love letters that he still wrote to her 45 years earlier. They are the most precious and most valuable items in her home at this moment. So, I would suggest that before you purge items that are of sentimental value, reconsider. You never know what kind of impact they can have on you in the future.

Gina Marie I love organizing and the sense of accomplishment you feel when done with a project. I've been trying to teach my dad about organizing and he said the best thing. He said, " I realize I don't need to hang on to all this stuff." I couldn't believe it. The words I've been wanting to hear forever. He grew up very poor in Hungary so I know hanging on to his stuff was more of an emotional attachment. He has , slowly,been throwing stuff out and I'm so proud of him. I always praise his efforts. You can't force anyone, it's when and if they are ready to get the ball rolling.

wilsoncritcher What a fantastic, heartfelt ongoing article. It really resonates with me and my fears. Many thanks Alison and congratulations for your positive journey. Succinct phrases too that really hit the nail(s) on the head.

Peggy Tupper One of the most difficult projects for me was dealing with sentimental stuff belonging to my father. He was a sailor and I have many authentic and historical nautical items. My daughters have no sentimental attachment to these things. I have now found a museum that will gladly take these items and care for them in perpetuity.

jakesgram I am a Very young 69. That said, a while ago I reread my diaries from my teen years along with personal letters,cards etc..that I'd received thru the years.I then disposed of them. As the Mother of 1 daughter, who I am very close to, I felt that some of this info was personal. Therefore, I didn't choose to share them. In a recent move, when I packed my "stuff", that I had merely kept for sentimental reasons,I got rid of a lot that I believe my daughter would have no reason to keep. I found the process very cleansing & loved the idea that when I pass away, there will be less for my daughter to have to go through.

calkelley I know someone said you shouldn't have someone you're related to help you with this project (or maybe it was in one of your other articles).
On the other hand, if you get your older kids to watch, perhaps it will help them learn the lesson I learn whenever I purge a drawer or room - STOP buying so much junk!!!
Now, I stand there a minute or 2 and really look at what suddenly caught my eye and think - do I really need to spend my money on this and where will it end up in a year or two?

Rukhsana Saleem I am about to move in two months , very helpful article thankyou.

windcrest1 On letters, photos, diaries and other documentation: If they are or could later be of historical or genealogical value, either scan them into the computer and back them up to an offsite saver like Carbonite or upload a few letters, stories to go with cards, or photos to your relative's page on Ancestry.com Remember we are blessed to have all the letters that the families shared from the Civil War, the Rev War, the WWs and others. These pages can be made private.
After that, if you still don't want to throw away paper items, consider this: shred the item, pick an area in the yard you want a plant or tree. Dig a hole, mix the shreds in with dirt, and plant a tree or flowering shrub. You'll have something to elicit your feelings in a good way (ie Grandma's tree or a Friendship tree) and it's not in the house!

becky1224 I used to be hurt when my daughter would toss my (not cheap) greeting cards without a second thought. These days I am glad she can do that, and also I tend to give more meaningful gifts and skip the card.

Pim Van Hemmen After 40 years of hanging onto everything that was deemed to have sentimental value I have reached the point where I know I will not be able to take any of it with me once I die. It has been a liberating feeling along the lines of Alison's house burning down. My grandmother once asked me what I would take with me if the house burned down. She told me she'd take the photo albums. Many of my photos are now digitized and uploaded to a cloud. If my house burns down I will not have to go in there to save anything (other than my kids). Everything else is just things. If you have your life, your family and your friends, the other things like chairs, pictures and other belongings are meaningless. My house is now very sparsely decorated by other people's standards and I get great joy out of cleaning out a room, filling garbage bags with useless trash and boxes for non-profit groups or garage sales.

mbrosseau A professional organizer is really worth the money. If you think you can't afford one....hire him/her for a small job. What you learn can be applied to other areas when you're ready. In my case, our organizaer happened to be a friend's daughter. Ask around, you don't necessarily have to go to the yellow pages.

Bowden Carroll Design A friend of mine once said "At the end of the day, your possessions possess you". They sure can weigh you down! Having just helped clear an elderly relative's house, I'm trying to streamline my life so that no one has to go through the same thing when I pass away. Not easy, but necessary.

mbrosseau That's why I'm giving stuff to my kids every chance I can....starting with holiday decorations.

montanasherryc Ok, ok, I'm hearing you on all this decluttering stuff! I'm getting rid of things, ok? Get off my back! Just kidding. But seriously...

debnsync Slow down! After my brother died, my sister and I had his things to divide/sell, as we had done with Mom's, so,keep til you're ready,avoid regrets.Lessons learned.
He had some old pieces of handmade furniture,through our mom's estate,( RIP mom), letters and drawings from her Dad who drove a tank in WWI, our Dad's medical books from Harvard;his own photographs,camera and film, a passion.We divided up things,keep and not clutter; like the antique roll top desk,from his room growing up,which I am planning to use in my home office, as well as our great grand-father's oak medical examining table & medical bags he used on horseback, riding into the hills of Virginia to make house calls. No one in our family boasted, but we knew the value of"things' and that beauty and history is irreplaceable. All of us here,online, can't have a home office without a desk, right? I could never find one like this.Good news: it's perfect.Crate and Barrel may be good for our sofas and kitchenware,but we know how blessed we are and keep the few things left that are not only beautiful, but also tell a story; we pass it on to our kids as well as use them. Even if they just learn, & don't want the "things".
I understand how people my parents' age,90+ or are already gone, experienced a life affecting them forever; it was an age where they had very little to nothing new; simple living, like you & I all may want here, but it wasn't by choice. They still kept everything when the wars were past, yet living a 1950's family lifestyle! They & theirs' suffered a great deal of loss: loved ones, property and farms, careers,and a sense of safety they were now losing. Think about our own 9/11.
House-fires were common,Dad's side had two.In one, my Grandparents only saved my Dad,and 3 pieces of her family furniture.I inherited 1/2 of the gate-leg table from her parents' estate when she died. Where was the other 1/2? I took a trip to my grandmother's most recent hometown, learned through friends that it had been given by her sister to a church.My husband & I found it, covered in candle wax,once-stunning wood now darkened and bent; we explained the story, & humbly asked for it, then moved it, and used the little $ we had then to have it restored by a pro,w/ actual boards of antique cherry. It was built on my great-grandparents' estate, and I loved the old stories of this grand room and table of her parents' home with 20+ dining together(it had several lost/burned extensions).That and one pine hand crafted corner cabinet are the most "valuable" pieces I own, and I do not have many. I love the gorgeous and practical ones; we use them almost every day.I don't want the $.
I don't want 3 cabinets of jars w/ old nails,string, either,as my mother had, or a closet full of fabric for old rags, or a basement of things never sorted, or my attic-full. BUT we went through it all when she died,found vintage furniture;old furs,hand-sewn linens.Her dolls!my Barbies! I will keep them in a glassed cabinet from her.Everything was in mint condition.Amazing.We also donated things and had "the auction", keeping things to consider if we wanted..
Dad's medical books are in the old lawyers' cabinet in the office; you would have to seek 1 , and for $1,000 you can find it or get a reproduction through a store like Crate and Barrel. I do know it is a blessing to have it.
TIP: I learned when my friend kept a closed "memory box",(size of&used as a side table,well-made in leather), after her husband died, that there IS a way to contain smaller things we treasure. I have one for Mama, one for my brother. 75 plus 200 yrs. of history. And photos on disc :)
I want to use old lace,wedding photos,old keys& jewelry, in shadow boxes,simplifying the process for my kids! Hanging things also is great way to save space.Share,and keep what YOU need. Enjoy the things you decide to keep,it's work, and worth it.

debnsync p. s. I'm with Traci: I lovelove donating to a cause as they raise money for like, an animal shelter here in town! I read this, called it, found out about it all and for real the $ goes to the shelter. Good for all of us! Save the little four-legged friends!
And lol, keeping the old piles of receipts and checkbooks; that was once our problem, too.....so, yes, well for a few yrs. for auditing potential you have to, but still you can store them neatly and just shred those old papers! We have had to just gradually do it, quit putting it off, and now are now organizing the dreaded long walk-in closet since the floors ruined and replaced; now all must be back in with style and no more "sentimental journey" stuff; if not sure, keep it somewhere for awhile and then make up your mind. If you do want to consign, as I have before, go for it! Even 60/40 % seeming unfair gives you incentive to give up the stuff you are just holding onto. Thanks for everyone's input, I need it right now! Clothes are not the easiest, and closet space is never big enough, so making mine look good so I will get rid of the un-necessary!

joidevivre29 Thank you for this inspiring article and all the great comments! On this rainy day, after reading this page I was motivated to finally tackle the mountain of unused yet expensive clothing that was cluttering up my closet. I filled four bags to donate, and now I have room for the things I actually wear. It feels so good that tomorrow I might just attempt to clear out the office closet (only if it's still raining)!

joidevivre29 Our family tackled our overstuffed basement yesterday. We had accumulated furniture and sporting equipment from 37 years of marriage and four children, as well as from both sides of the family over several generations. Some pieces of antique furniture were too special to part with (although they may not make it through the next purge), but we filled the car three times with items to consign or donate. We put a set of patio chairs by the street and by dark they were gone, which made us glad that someone will put them to good use. And there is still a huge amount of recycling/ trash to be picked up this week. Now, the whole house feels calmer, with the foundation in order. Thanks for the motivation to get started on this!

Peggy Tupper I too started another decluttering project today. Have wanted to get rid of a side by side fridge freezer in my garage and a set of bunk beds in a basement bedroom. We do not use either of these items but they took up a lot of space. I posted separate ads on Kijiji and got phone calls within 1 minute for each. Both items picked up within 1 hour. Posting on Kijiji as FREE means that your items will go fast.

I will be posting more Kijiji ads in the next week or so because it is so easy to find someone who wants the stuff and will come and get it.